12 weeks. Hello little plum!

My mornings: I'm on night shifts again. What is this day light crap coming in my windows? Someone needs to turn off the sun.

My nights: Shut eyes. Wake up. Pee. Over and over and over ... You get the idea.

How far along: 12w, 4d

How big is baby: Baby is the size of a plum and is about 2.1 inches and .49 ounces.

 

Weight: Can we skip this question? I broke down and bought a digital scale for the house. I knew it would probably be higher than the 130 that my scale was showing. According to this scale and my doctor's scale I have gained 14 pounds in the first tri.

Now I know that it's more likely that I started at a higher weight and have gained less than 10 pounds but this weight thing has bummed me out. I am in that tough period where I don't look pregnant. I look really pudgy. I look like I have gained several pounds in my waistline and it's not easy when you're trying to keep a pregnancy secret but also don't want people to think you've gained 10 pounds in just a few short weeks.

How I’m changing: I'm starting to get a little bump that's noticeable to me. The bloat still goes down when I sleep but by the end of the day I look pregnant. It's hard to hide right now.

What I miss: I miss sleeping. A lot.

Symptoms: I had a few days of fatigue again this week, as well as some heartburn. That's new to me and it's been at random times so I haven't had a chance to really pinpoint if anything is causing it or not.

 

Cravings: Nothing in particular.

 

Food Aversions: Explain this to me. I like bananas. I can eat about half of a banana and suddenly can't swallow the bite because if I do I will vomit it back up. This makes no sense to me.

Highlights this week: My first OB appointment and hearing the heartbeat on the doppler. It was strong at 159.

Maternity clothes: I can still fit into pants and wear them when I'm only going to have them on for a couple hours.

 

Stretch marks: None.

Sleep: It's been a little better this week. I've gotten more quality sleep and haven't been waking up as much.

Movement: Dr. H could tell when the baby was moving during the doppler. Everytime she found the HB, the baby would squirm to another location. She kept pointing out the scratchy sound the doppler made and said that was when the baby was moving around.

Gender: I'm feeling boy this week. There is no particular reason why but I just do.

Labor signs: Nope. Way too soon.

Belly button: I will still be an innie for a while.

What I am looking forward to: I am looking forward to looking pregnant. I can't hide it with my work shirts and the maternity shirts make me look more pregnant than just a loose fitting t-shirt.

(Picture side note: my arm looks abnormally large. I either have massive muscles or my mirror is being weird.) 

Milestones: Today was my last dose of Crinone!!!!1!!1!1 I can't tell you how happy this makes me. Of course, I am nervous, but I am also excited to be past this point in the pregnancy.

The post in which I am very pissified.

Bear with me. This post is full of hormonal rage and pissiness.

Also, I am going to make up about a dozen words that describe my pisstified level.

Today was my first OB appointment. (The important news of the appointment will be at the end of this lengthy post. Scroll down if you want to see that first.) It was with Dr. H who I will try to rename soon. My medical records and files are in her system because her and Dr. A are in the same teaching hospital group so she should have had access to all of my information when they scheduled this appt.

Because of this, they should have known beforehand that I was 12w,2d today and needed my NT scan done. But, nooooooo. The stupid moronic staff didn't do that, even though I called beforehand and asked if I would be receiving a US for the NT scan today. They didn't have an answer and said they would check.

I even called back this morning to make sure so I would know if DH should take off work to come with me.

One ringee dingee. Two ringee dingee. Three ringee dingee ... 45 ringee dingees.

(Hangup and dial again)

One ringee dingee. Transfer to automated system. Press buttons. Press more buttons. Press even mooooore buttons. Cue horrible hold music and a recorded voice about how important I am.

5 minutes later. I am still being told how important I am. While I appreciate the admiration from the robot voice and affirmation that I am indeed the most special person in the entire world, I was not being helped.

(Hangup. Dial again.)

10 MINUTES LATER I am back to the affirmation and now it is pissing me off and making me stabbity. I am ready to murder the robot lady. 10 minutes is a long time to wait, especially when this is the exact same line I would need to call if I have an urgent question for my doctor or nurse. By now, I am on speaker phone, cursing and pacing my kitchen.

::You're call is important to us, please ...::

Live person picks up and guess what her first words are. "Dr. Slow Ass OBGYNs office, can you hold please?"

"Sure, I have already been on hold for 10 minutes. What's the big deal about holding for another 30 minutes," I asked.

By now I have her attention. She apologizes and makes an excuse about how busy they are and are short staffed. I reminded her that no office in the world should take three phone calls and this much wait time before speaking to a live person.

Now she's pissedthehelloff at me like I insulted her mother. Trust me honey. I know what it's like to have 13 phone lines to answer between 4 people. Don't talk to me about how tough your job is. I know you have medical students and college interns floating around like flies on shit, so why don't you sit one of their butts in a chair and make them work.

Anyways, she finally answered my questions by not actually answering the questions. She was no help because she didn't know anything.

I met with Dr. My Office Staff is Stupid and we discussed a lot of the normal stuff. Yada Yada Yada ... don't smoke crack. Don't drink lots of alcohol. Stop being a prostitute. Don't do laundry ever again. Tell DH he has to cook supper every night. Blah, Blah, Blah, all the normal stuff.

She looked at my chart and was also confused as to why the NT scan wasn't scheduled. There's only one doctor that does them and I am only available on Friday and Monday. Guess what? He doesn't work on Fridays and by Monday it would be too late. It has to be done before 13 weeks. Monday will be 13 weeks. I am working night shifts through Thursday night and I CAN NOT wake up during the middle of the day to come for a 15 minute scan and then go back to bed. There's no way I could sleep again. I have sleep problems anyways. It's not going to happen. So she asks I can come early in the morning.

"Sure. Does he open at 6 a.m.? Because that's a good time for me."

She detects my sarcasm but doesn't think the other doctor will appreciate my humor and open up at 6 a.m.

At this point, it looks like I may not have the NT scan done. Thanks a lot Office of Lazy Butts OBGYN for flubbing up this schedule.

Since she works at the teaching hospital office, she only delivers at one particular hospital. It was the one hospital that I didn't want to deliver at. She had some valid reasons why it is better including that it is the major hospital for the are and has the only NICU, level 3. The other hospitals all transfer to this one when there is a problem. But, around here, more people are going to the newer, prettier hospital because this one has the reputation of being dirty. Now, I could just be hearing only the bad stories of this medical center, and unfortunately, I don't have many people I can ask about it because most of the people that I know that have delivered in recent years have went to the other perty, new building. But it looks like I don't have that option unless I switch OBs.

The downside to that would be that I would have to go with a practice that rotates OBs. You will never know which doctor you will see or deliver you. With Dr. H, she said she doesn't rotate because she doesn't take many private patients. The only ones she sees are Dr. A's fertility patients and higher risk patients, including multiples and other high risk pregnant mothers. She said delivers about 90% of her patients and the only reason she wouldn't deliver is if she is out of town or in surgery or something like that. I like fact about her practice but there are so many other problems that are ticking me off that I don't know I if I want to stay with her or not. 

I had a pap smear, flu shot and was violated a little more by the OB. It's never awkward to be felt up by another woman. I am almost positive that I am not a lesbian now too. So there's that.

Fast forward to her instructions to schedule another appt for 4 weeks from now. Sounds easy doesn't it?

I met the check out student who was studying medical terminology flashcards at the desk. I hope he studies them real hard because his common sense and customer service skills are lacking. He should really not go further in the secretarial field. I tell him my desire for an appt on a date 4 weeks away. No dice. Dr. is not available that day.

He tossed out an option and I said nope, I am on night shifts for three nights then and explain I work 6-6, 12 hour shifts. It's not possible for me. He then asks if the very next day is an option.

I am 5 seconds away from letting my head hit the desk. "Nope. I am still on night shift. It's not an option."

I asked for something the following week after my day shifts end. He asks if I can come in before work. 

"Sure. I will take your earliest appt at 5:30 a.m."

He does not see my humor or the obvious answer.

Two weeks later we find a day that works for us both. By that point I will be 18 weeks. He can't tell me if I can go ahead and get the anatomy scan at that time. This does not shock me. At this point, I'm pretty sure these people are glorified monkeys pressing buttons because they don't know Jack or his Uncle Shit. I ask him to find out. That wasn't an option either. He said I would have to call back another day and find out.

"Awesome," I said. "I love your office's hold music."

_______________

I must end this on a good note, since this whole day and other things have been putting me in a pisstacular state.

The appt went well as far as the baby stuff goes. I talked about my worries with weight gain. According to the office scale and my scale at home, I am up almost 10 pounds. I told her I am worried I may gain 60 pounds. She wasn't worried about my weight gain and said it will even out or we will monitor it closer in my third tri because that's when it could really affect things.

She was able to find the heartbeat on the doppler after about 2 minutes of searching. I was about to stop breathing and had to remember to breathe when I finally heard it. The little booger was running from the doppler. Even when she would finally get it to register for about 10 seconds, it would move away again. She chased it all over my stomach. The heart rate was 159 and sounded amazing.

My doppler that I ordered off eBay should be here Thursday. I can't wait to hear it at home and let DH listen to it.

So there it is. One of my longest posts ever and it's full of piss and crap. Any advice, hugs or flat out answers that make me not have to make a decision are welcome. 

A 911 dispatcher's guide to healthy eating during pregnancy

First, start off your day with a small glass of prune juice. Trust me on this ... more is not always better.

For breakfast, scarf down a Biscuit and Gravy from Hardee's at 5:30 am. 

By 8:30, when you're starving again, eat a cool whip size bowl of smushed/cooked apples. With sugar.

Sweet talk Pizza Hut into delivering your large pizza for free because you can't come pick it up. That would be too much effort and exercise to walk to and from your car and drive for 1/4 mile to the pizza place. 

Also, eat at least two pieces of pizza. Stop counting at two pieces. Set aside what is left for snack time. 

When a church offers to bring 911 center free food leftover from homecoming, kindly ask them to include dessert. 

Squeal like a pig when you see carrot cake.

It's not yet 3 pm. It's time to eat cake.

Enter sugar coma. 

You've successfully passed your calorie limit and intake needs for the day so there is no need to think about what you will eat later. Everything after this is just a bonus and considered healthy. 

After all, carrot cake has carrots in it. 

As for me, I'm off to google if coconut is a fruit. There may or may not be a piece of coconut cake going home with me. 

11 Weeks: Lime!

My mornings: I've stopped sleeping. Sleep is for the weak.

My nights: Shut eyes. Wake up. Pee. Over and over and over ... You get the idea.

How far along: 11w, 5d

How big is baby: Baby is the size of a lime and a little less than 2 inches. My uterus is now the size of a grapefruit. Add that to the cantaloupe sized bloat belly and I basically am a walking fruit salad.

Weight: 

Starting weight: 125

Total weight gain: 5

This week: 130

How I’m changing: I'm starting to get a little bump that's noticeable to me. My bloat belly is noticeable in shirts and I am wearing maternity pants to work. The others are just too uncomfortable after 12 hours. 

What I miss: I miss sleeping. A lot. 

Symptoms: My symptoms have taken a leave of absence which scares me. I have had a few moments of heartburn and some cramps but nothing that's persistent. 

Cravings: Nothing in particular. Some days I really want a certain food but nothing makes me scream that I HAVE TO HAVE THIS NOW!!!

Food Aversions: Nothing yet but smelling leftovers or old food makes me gag.

Highlights this week: I update my registry some. I've looked into buying a Doppler for myself to hear the HB but I haven't been able to pull the trigger.

Maternity clothes: I can still fit into pants and wear them when I'm only going to have them on for a couple hours. I have to have stretchy pants for work now. The bloat is too painful at the end of the day to not have stretch pants.

Stretch marks: None.

Sleep: At the advice of some of my TTGP grads, I got some Tylenol PM. I've take it twice and it does help. It's basically Tylenol and Benadryl and it had helped me sleep a little longer. 

Movement: Nothing but gas.

Gender: HB is still predicting girl.

Labor signs: Nope. Way too soon.

Belly button: I will still be an innie for a while.

What I am looking forward to: My OB appointment will be Oct 15. I can't wait!!!

Milestones: Getting closer and closer to the end of first Tri. I can't wait to be done with it and hopefully not worry as much. I doubt that will happen but it's nice to dream about. 

It's emergencies like this that never make the news.

Call it karma. Call it irony. Call it luck of the draw. 

In the 911 world, you will always be the one to answer the call that scares you or bothers you the most. When I was going   through IF treatment, I think I took about 100 pregnant teenager or druggie mother calls. Nothing will suck the breath out of you as fast as abused baby call. If I could have reached through the phone and committed murder, I probably would have. 

My partner's debilitating fear is spiders. She CAN NOT stand them. I think she would shat her pants if one physically got on her. She runs from side of the room until we kill them. It's funny to me but paralyzing to her. 

Guess what call she took last night? 

Elderly lady reported "a HUGE ass spider" in her house. I swear to Jesus, you would have thought that spider was crawling on my partner's face at that exact moment. Despite the caller living 3 miles away from our 911 center, to this dispatcher, she may have well been facing that spider eye to eye.

Of course, I am listening to the call and seconds away from peeing my pants from laughter. I should also note that this dispatcher is also my supervisor and she threatened to write me up if it didn't stop laughing. 

Yeah right! You might as well tell a kid to stop laughing in church. 

Despite not being a real emergency, to this dispatcher and this caller, it was life and death. Obviously, my version of life and death is different from theirs. 

Officers were dispatched for assistance an "animal call-- spider in the house." 

I'm not shitting you when I say the officers went in with backup. 3 officers, yes three officers, went to help this old lady. It was handled by officer which means that the spider is now resting in peace or pieces. 

Obviously, these officers have wives who are scared of spiders too. Well played boys. Well played. You deserve medals. 

8 MORE DAYS

Only 8 more days left of Crinone!!!!1!1!!1

Can you tell I'm a bit excited!?!?! 

8 more days and I will be done with the yucky funky gunk discharge. Hey. If you don't want TMI, then you may want to slowly back away from this blog. 

Here's a picture for you to give you a visual of how much enjoyment I get from inserting this suppository every day.

Sex, drugs and rock n roll are regular topics here. Well except for rock n roll. But I am fond of sex and drugs.

These wonderful (read: expensive) tubes of gooey progesterone will not be missed. They have been the cause of many literal headaches, bewbie aches, nightmares, and thinning my checking account.

On some brighter news, after I finally ordered my last set of the meds, I heard back from Blue Cross. Recently I inquired about them covering the drug since it is a pregnancy drug and I am not using it for infertility at this time. I argued and my RE argued that other types of progesterone were covered but not Crinone. Well guess what? I got a letter notifying me that they will now cover it. 

Really??!?! Thanks, but it's a little to late now since I've already paid for it for 12 weeks and you've repeatedly denied requests for it to be covered. I asked for a form to contest this and receive back pay from the previous 12 weeks. I don't know if I will get it but it's worth a shot. 

If there's another thing that IF has taught me, it is to not take "No" as an answer. I've learned how to advocate for myself, especially with insurance. They've screwed me over too many times for me to give in now. I will take ever dollar I can from them. 

8 MOAR DAYZ!!!!1!!1!1

Nightmares need to stop

I had heard that pregnant women have some vivid dreams, but this is getting ridiculous. I wish there was a way to exchange the nightmares for another crazy symptom. 

Excess gas 24/7? Sure! I will take it. 

Fatigue? Give it to me! 

Crazy extreme cravings of something nasty like mayonnaise or ranch? Heck yeah! 

Just stop with the dreams! Last night was the worst and it was so real. I don't think it would have been so bad if it hadn't been about having a miscarriage. Why couldn't it be the recurring bear chasing me around the house? Or the one where I crash my car in random places? Or where I'm robbed at gunpoint? 

I seriously woke up with sweat rolling off of me and I was crying. It was that bad. To top it off, I was so upset afterwards that I didn't go back to sleep for 3 hours. 

Between waking up to pee at least 3 times a night and these dreams which have been happening for several weeks, it is safe to say that I am not sleeping well. 

This post sounds whiny and until last nights dream, I wasn't overly bothered by them, but now I'm kinda afraid to close my eyes. 

The one tiny bit of comfort is that one of main side effects from Crinone is vivid dreams. I only have to take it for 10 more days. I'm going to wean off of it at week 12. I'm hoping the dreams will calm down after that. 

In other non whiny news, I went to our local festival today before starting back on night shift. I got some Christmas presents. Sorry, Sister in Law, I am not posting a pic of that! You will have to wait until Santa brings it to you. 

I did get some muscadine grape juice! It's sooooooo good. If I can't have wine, then this stuff is a veryveryveryclose second place to it. DH laughed at me recently because I say down on the couch with one of my wine glasses filled with prune juice.