Caught red pawed

They may growl, bark, steal toys from each other and be jealous, but they secretly share a warm, fuzzy love.

It's time for a change

It's time to try some new things.

I've never put much stock in anything to help you get pregnant besides good old fashion sex. (This does not apply to IF and treatments) I'm more speaking about holistic or alternative diets and what not.

I'm not saying that it couldn't help or that it couldn't hurt, it's more of a feeling of ambivalence to it. In all honesty, it's probably because I don't understand them and am ignorant to most of it.

But at this point, I figure "what the heck?" Why not try something new?

I really want to try acupuncture. I'm still researching it and attempting to find someone nearby with fertility acupuncture experience. Some of the materials I have read suggest it has to be done on certain cycle days. So that may be something to try next cycle if needed.

This month, I started yoga. I'm enjoying it so far but I find it difficult because I have very little flexibility. However, I do feel more relaxed and generally healthier. This healthier feeling could be attributed to a better diet, as well. My dogs also like it as well, because they think my mat is their bed.

A diet limited in gluten intake was tough for the first couple weeks, mostly because I didn't know what I could and couldn't eat. It took a few days to learn about it but I'm glad I've made this change. This began when I learned about my Endo. Some studies show that a gluten free diet can positively affect a patients pain and symptoms from Endo. While researching this, I discovered what I believe is a sensitivity to gluten. I'm not allergic. I'm it claiming to be hugely affected, but many of the symptoms were some of what I've suffered from for years. A few of which were persistent dry, itchy scalp, intestinal problems, migraines and fatigue. I'm not following a 100% gluten free diet but I have limited it and I can already tell a difference in my skin, migraines and fatigue.

Lastly, this month I'm trying the old pineapple tip. Basically, pineapple core contains Bromelain which some say helps with implantation. From O to 5DPO, I'm eating a section of pineapple each day. I cut up a whole pineapple into five sections and eat one a day. I tried making a smoothie one day but honestly I would rather just eat it. The core is a bit tough to chew but it is possible to eat.

I'm not going to say if these things will help me conceive but I figure that each of them can't hurt. All of the changes are healthy for me and the last two taste yummy!

It can't hurt. Am I right?

US update.

Oops. I forgot to update after my US. Considering I went home and straight to bed afterwards, I will say that it just slipped my mind.

Overall, RE said everything looks great.

Well, everything except for the fact that he couldn't find any follicle(s). Because I ALREADY OVULATED!

This didn't really surprise me since I got a +OPK the day before (CD12). Dr A wasn't concerned since he said as long as weren't doing IUI then it wouldn't affect anything. Of course, if I had cysts or lining issues there may have been a problem but fortunately Femara isn't as likely to cause those problems as Clomid. In future cycles, Dr A said they would try harder to get me in for mid cycle US before CD 12 since I have O'ed early some months.

He did say that he could tell that a follicle had released and could see where it burst. It was like an A&P lesson with he doc and his little medical students. He explained and showed off how he could tell it was released and how my lining looks. It was 8.96 mm. I love that the office has medical students working alongside him. Dr A always takes a few extra minutes to explain things thoroughly to them and they get to ask questions. It's really helpful to me too since I get some extra attention.

So the plan is to go in Thursday, CD 19, 6 DPO, to get progesterone level tested. I know, I know, it's supposed to be on 7 DPO but my work schedule won't permit it so I will get it drawn late on 6DPO.

Timing wise, we hit 5-O, 1-O, and O. I'm pleased with this timing. I think the EOD was wearing DH out and we weren't getting top notch results. But since we didn't wear ourselves out, I think that helped him and me relax some.

Side note: The insurance saga continues. The hospital and insurance are still fighting it out. I'm left out of the loop this time and am just waiting. Insurance is still covering the Lap but the hospital has some issue with another portion that they won't even tell me about. I mentioned this to WonderWoman Mary and Dr A. Both were so nice again and offered assistance, if needed.

So for now, it's just a wait and see game on both TTC and insurance.

Timing is everything.

I'm cutting it down to the wire this month with my mid cycle US. I'm scheduled for tomorrow which will be CD 13. I have O'ed slightly early before so I knew it was a possibility but tomorrow was the only open day that was close enough to mid cycle.

My concern is that I got a +OPK this morning. If my surge lasts through today and O holds off until after the US tomorrow, then that's great. Otherwise, we don't really have a choice but to go ahead with US then, since they couldn't fit me in today. Dr A has surgeries and IVF today and can't see me. He's the only one who does US in the office. (Small office. Small staff)

I'm hoping the earlier O means the Femara worked and kicked my ovaries into gear!

I have no choice but to wait until tomorrow and hopefully still see a big a big follie or two.

I would post a chart but there's nothing there. I gave up temping this cycle since I am being monitored, but I still feel odd not knowing exactly what my chart is saying about O and eventually the 2WW.

When I'm quiet...

When I'm quiet, it more than often means I am working so much that I can't even think about blogging.

But, sometimes when I am MIA, it means the complete opposite. I have been off for several days yet I can't make myself think about TTC. Or blogging.

I back in Depressionville. Population: 1.

It's the same lather, rinse, repeat from last month's Femara side effects. I didn't even bother to write about it since the blah feeling won't let me kick my own ass out of this fog. My headaches lasted for three days and overall shitass mood had been going on for a couple days too. Thank goodness I know that it will hopefully go away quickly when the medicines half life wears off.

Unfortunately, it led to a long discussion with DH. He hates seeing me like this. I know talking about it helps but in the heat of the moment, I wish he would just drop it so I can pretend like I am OK. He can tell that I'm not fine even when I'm pretending.

I don't want go get into details but lets just say there was an awkward ugly crying moment followed by "feel better" sex. Oddly enough, I do feel better. Crying and sex are both cathartic but at this point I have no drive to exert the energy into either one.

God, please let this go away. Please let this work.

The solution to the healthcare industry's problems.

At this point it's just so ridiculous that its funny.

Last week the hospital called and said they had put a "hold" on my account until they got all of the insurance problems straightened out. Apparently, insurance is still refusing to pay for part of it, yet the hospital says that my total will be the same at around $1,800.

I'm done trying to figure out the logic that if insurance pays more then my part won't be cheaper???

Anyways, nice girl Valvoline (her name really sounds like the motor oil) told me she put it on hold so that I would stop getting bills in the mail until it's all straightened out. Since that day, which I think was exactly 7 days ago, I have received a letter from the hospital every day that the United State Postal Service has been operating. I now have at least 10 copies of the exact same $9,048.23 bill.

BUT. BUT. BUT...
Today I got a new letter. It's a statement telling me NOT to pay the bill. (Yet)

Let me break this down for you so you can wrap your mind around this clusterfluck.

I have received 10 bills telling me to pay $9,000 or I'm about to be sent to a collection agency. Hospital said they're going to stop sending said bills. Now, hospital sent me a statement telling me not to pay the bills but just making me aware of my account balance which is unpaid.

No shit Sherlock!

Listen carefully, I think I've solved the healthcare crisis. I'm predicting that hospitals and insurance could save about a million lajillion dollars a year if they stopped mailing bills and statements to people whom they've said "were not going to mail you a bill!" Great, Mr Hospital but at what point are you going to stop sending me statements too????

The only winner here is obviously the United States Postal Service.

CD 2 is kicking my teeth in

Ugh. I feel awful.

Cramps, screaming shats, bloated, back ache, hungry yet nauseous.

I've maxed out my daily dose of Tylenol and Imodium. The only thing left to throw at my uterus is wine and a steaming hot bath. Unfortunately I can't drink too much because I have to work tomorrow. I can't have a hangover or wine headache.

Hopefully this AF won't be like last months. The cramps and bloat lasted for DAYS and before my Lap the pain was over in a day. It was bad but gone soon enough that I could deal. Last month was constant and took forever to end. This feels more like my pre-lap periods with constant bad pain that hopefully will go away after today.

Onto the TTC news, I called and left a message for RE office today about Rx for Femara this cycle. Wonder Woman called me back on our recorded work line. Luckily she was very apologetic and said "I didn't realize I called your work. I'm so sorry. Your Rx is called in. Appointment on this day good?" Luckily she was very aloof and didn't really give away any information. Those recorded lines are monitored by all of the dispatchers so anyone can listen in on any call. Thank goodness, no one was and she was very very sorry and said I could call her back if I needed more info or had questions.

So here goes $140 to double up the dose and hope to see some stronger O this month!

(I'm not complaining about this amount at all. Me noting it here is to keep track because I will forget how much I spent on individual meds or doctor visits if I don't record it somewhere. We are very lucky that this is our treatment plan right now.)

Moving on to Cycle 16

I think it's cycle 16. I've actually lost count after a few TTA cycles and my sucky memory.

I started spotting yesterday. CD 1 should start tomorrow.

The plan for this cycle is to double Femara to 5 mg and TI. When I meet with the RE I may discuss moving on to new treatment. Before the weak O dx he wanted us to try on our own for a few months so I just want to see what he thinks about IUI in the next few months.

CD 25 -- 11 DPO

I am terrible about posting actual TTC details sometimes. Whoopsie!

It's technically CD 25/11DPO.

I always swear that I will wait until 12 DPO to test but since I know Dr A will want to test my progesterone level if I get a BFP, I figured I should test early.

Unfortunately, 10 DPO was a BFN. I know I'm not out until AF arrives but this is why I hate testing early. I hate hate hate hate hate seeing a BFN. Hate it.

I would much rather wait it out until I know I have a good shot at an accurate result or if my spotting is late.

Chart is below but the last two high temps could be attributed to night shift. It's really not that accurate.

Insurance owes me a stapler

The saga continues.

Peacefully dreaming away after night shift, my sleep was interrupted by the hospital, AGAIN!

Anyone who knows me IRL knows that I hate being woken up when I should be sleeping. So needless to say, I wasn't in a happy mood when talking to Cheery McCheerleader. Cheery explained that due to ANOTHER code being filed wrong with insurance that they were not paying something that they should be paying. However, she said my portion shouldn't change and the total should be around 1,800ish.

I asked well if they're going to pay more then why wouldn't my part be lower? She tried explaining, but to be honest I was half asleep and using the bathroom while talking to her. I guess I should have refrained from doing No. 2 while I was talking with her, but let's be honest, after all this drama with the hospital and insurance, taking a crap in the reception area of both buildings seems like a swell idea. Or I may go steal all the staplers. If this doesn't get all fixed with a shiny bow on top I would dream about burning the building down.

I'm waiting AGAIN for a true bill so that I can actually pay it. Cheery was also nice enough to put a hold on my account so they will stop threatening to send me to collections.

When I spoke to her last week she said if I can pay it in one lump sum I get a 20 percent discount if paid by March 1. That day was Feb 28. I said how can I pay a bill when you can't give me a correct amount. I argued until she referred me to the supervisor and for now, they're saying that once it is all straightened out then I can still get the 20 percent discount. You bet your ass I will, you stupid heifers!!!!

The solution to keeping your mind off TTC!

I have found the perfect solution for keeping your mind off TTC!

CANDY CRUSH SAGA!!!!

To the person who mentioned this game one day on Twitter: I hate you. I will never get these hours back that I have wasted on this game.

However, I would also like to thank you for keeping my mind off TTC for hours at a time. If you haven't tried this game, download it. It's free but you may have to pay to get to certain levels or you can invite your Facebook friends to play. I refuse to do that though.

Play it. You will thank me and hate me later!

Disappointed

Progesterone is at 8.5. Femara didn't help anything this month. Last month it was 8.4.

Wonder Woman Mary said it is enough to sustain a pregnancy but they want it higher. If I get a BFP then I'm to call immediately to get supplements. At this point, they're not saying it's low enough to be take anything right now.

Otherwise, I will call again on CD 1 for a new Rx for 5 mg of Femara daily instead of the 2.5 mg that I took this month.

I know I'm not out for this month. I know it could still happen this month. But it's that little tiny punch in the gut that hurts.

There's a fine line to walk between getting your hopes up and being cynical and negative about the whole IF thing. It's a tightrope that one tiny little slip can send you over the edge to a bottom point that's hard to claw back out of.

If this month is another bust then you can bet that I'm buying a giant bottle of wine to swallow my Femara with.

7 DPO

I had blood draw to test my progesterone level this month. Luckily my work schedule has cooperated well this cycle with my US and BW being done on my off days. It would be so nice to be back at my old job as a newspaper editor because I could alter my work schedule around my appointments.

Last month my level was 8.4. Dr A wants it at least above 10 but he would love to see it higher than 15.

Keeping my fingers crossed that its high!