Week 10: I love prunes.

My mornings: ugh. Let's not even talk about how much sleep I'm not getting

My nights: Shut eyes. Wake up. Pee. Repeat every two hours.

How far along: 10 weeks, 1 day

How big is baby: Prune! I lurrrvvveee prunes. Unfortunately we all know what happens when someone eats more than two. The baby is now 1.2 inches and weighs about .14 oz. 

Isn't it ironic that one prune sized fetus inside my body is causing me to not be able to poop, which means I have to eat more prunes? 

Weight: 

Starting weight: 125

Total weight gain: 4

This week: holding at 129.

How I’m changing: My boobs have went from a 34B to a 34C. 

What I miss: I miss sleeping. 

Symptoms: Fatigue has eased up some in regards to midday naps but I still want to go to bed around 9-10 pm. 

Cravings: I really wanted some beef stew which I made today in the crockpot. Yum! 

Food Aversions: Nothing yet but smelling leftovers or old food makes me gag. 

Highlights this week: I graduated from my RE on Wednesday. It was bittersweet to tell them goodbye. I promised to keep in touch and Dr A said since my OB is in the same group then he will be able to get updates from her. 

Maternity clothes: Friday was the first day that I wore maternity pants all day and it was magical. Mom and I were shopping and it was merely for comfort purposes. I can still fit in regular pants with top button undone and a belt. 

Stretch marks: None.

Sleep: What sleep? I used to use melatonin on day shifts and I would love to pop one right now. I plan on talking to the OB about it if it continues and see if there's anything I can do. 

Best moment last week: The US again. HB was 163 and Dr A said everything was looking good. 

Movement: Nothing but gas.

Gender: HB is still predicting girl.

Labor signs: Nope. Way too soon.

Belly button: I will still be an innie for a while.

What I am looking forward to: My OB appointment will be Oct 15. 

Milestones: I told my boss about the pregnancy and he agreed to give me another shift which would allow for easier daycare. He promised to keep it secret since I haven't even told my dispatch partners yet.

I've been away ... Again.

But I'm back!!!

Back story... Mom and I like to go to country music concerts arranged around a weekend filled with shopping. She has a weird borderline-on-TLC-show-type-obsession with TJMaxx and Marshall's. Our shopping usually revolves around hitting every one of these stores to and from our destination. As crazy as it may sound, we've hit at least 14 of these stores in less than three days. 

My bonus from all these stops is a concert while Mom relishes in the shopping. She loves the concerts too but I think the shopping is her top priority. 

Anyways, months ago, I saw that Blake Shelton tickets were going on sale and we planned for one of our annual shopping and music trips. And since I truly believe in the theory of continuing to live your life while trying to get pregnant, I snatched up the tickets. It wasn't until after my BFP and about 6th week of pregnancy that I had serious doubts about the concert. 

My fatigue and early bed time was severely going to be tough to get past for a concert that would no doubt last until midnight or later. So we made the decision to sell the tickets and concentrate on shopping. 

And boy did we shop! 

I think we went to 8 TJMaxx, Marshall's and Homegoods, 1 mall, 1 Buy Buy Baby, 1 Target, 1 cloth diaper store, and a couple Rosses'. 

My main goal of the whole trip was to find the elusive golden ticketed Ergo that has been on sale. I saw it at our local store and made the mistake of not buying it. I thought I would be able to find it easily this weekend. But nooooooo. The stores had all the little pouch, backpack and other accessories but NO Ergos. 

Until the last store...

JACKPOT!!11!!1!1!!

I am happy to report that we made it back safely and my Ergo has been bought. 

One baby item down. Only 100 billion other things to go. 

Tip: don't go into a Buy Buy Baby unless you want to totally overwhelm yourself with options on seats, strollers, toys, gadgets, doohickeys, and other probably mostly unnecessary crap. 

Anyways, I'm back and finally catching up on laundry and life. I've missed you all! 

FYI.

There is a fine line between the effectiveness of 3 prunes a day and 4 prunes a day. 

That fine line has been crossed tonight and DH is going to be the victim of it. 

Side note: my weenie dog who sleeps under the covers 99% of the time is on the far side of the bed on top of the covers giving me the stink eye. 

Graduation Day!!!!

It's a bittersweet moment as today was my graduation day from the RE. 

There was no pomp and circumstance. 

There were no flashing cameras pointed at me. 

There were no diplomas handed out or awarded. 

There were no crying grandparents and aunts and uncles.

But I did walk away with pictures, which are sort of a diploma. I didn't have a live band playing to walk me down long hallway to the US, but internally I was singing ROAR by Katy Perry and trying to keep my nerves checked. 

Today was my first US alone and while there were no other family members crying at this major lifetime milestone, this pregnant Mama teared up during the heartbeat. Those 30 seconds before the doctor finds it are torture. 

This day is a huge milestone that seems like it took as long to get here as my high school and college years took to complete. As I walked away with "Good luck" and "Keep in touch!" from Dr A, I clutched the US pics like I was holding the best graduation gift ever. I said my goodbyes to Wonder Woman Mary, Diane the blood sucker, Dr A's wife (the main IVF nurse who worked with me on injects) and the girls at the front desk. These people helped get me to this point and kept me sane during the moments when I lost hope. 

I will miss them forever but keep them in my heart for always. 

But for now, I'm a graduate and like any other normal pregnant lady, I'm headed to an OB. My first appointment is Oct. 15 with a doctor that Dr A highly recommended. It feels kinda odd to be joining the ranks of the fertiles. In my mind, I never imagined myself getting to this point. 

Needless to say, I'm worried. There's always going to be a constant feeling of doubt and apprehension about whether I will be lucky enough to make it through the pregnancy and end up with a healthy baby. For today, I am trying to remember, "I am pregnant" and focus on that. 

I will admit to taking a interwebs break for a few days and only checking FB sparingly. My blog posts slacked because I was having my worry wart moments and couldn't break away from the fear. 

Obviously, a good report is making me feel better. Just a few more weeks until I'm out of the first trimester.

The little gummy bear was measuring right on track at 9w,3d and has a heart rate of 163. 

9 weeks: Grape or Green Olive

My mornings: I hate morning. Always have. Always will. Enough said.

My nights: Hey let's stay up all night thinking about random crap after being exhausted all day?!? 

How far along: 9 weeks, 1 day

How big is baby: Green Olives are about .9 inches and weigh about .07 ounces. The baby is roughly the size of a grape. And since I like grapes better than olives, I think I will go with that comparison instead. 

Weight: 

Starting weight: 125

Total weight gain: 4

This week: +2 at 129.

I've still got a lot of bloat and my weight fluctuates every day because of that. I also don't have a digital scale and mine isn't too easy to read. Once I have my first OB appointment, I will have a better idea of what my real weight is. 

How I’m changing: My boobs have went from a 34B to a 34C and I think they're going through another growth spurt. 

What I miss: I miss running and the general feeling of being awake. 

Symptoms: Fatigue is still not my friend. I am generally tired for a good portion of the day. Naps, however, are my friend. Saturday morning I slept until 10 am and then went down for a nap at 11:30 am. How sad is that? Sunday, I took two naps. 

Cravings: I love carbs. Carbs are yummy. I would really like some fruit today. Someone needs to make that happen for me. But, not a banana. I vomited a banana yesterday after three bites. 

Food Aversions: Nothing yet, except I'm a little afraid of bananas now. 

Highlights this week: Nap time!

Maternity clothes: I've worn a few shirts and a dress yesterday to church that are technically maternity. My BFF also let me borrow a few shirts and dresses so my closet is the best wardrobe I've ever had in my entire life. 

Stretch marks: None.

Sleep: If I could sleep about 12 hours a day, I think that would be awesome. 

Best moment last week: Making it another week without any major sickness. 

Movement: Nothing but gas.

Gender: If I go by heartbeat, then the wives tale says girl. I've got several people giving me different guesses but most are saying girl. 

Labor signs: Nope. Way too soon.

Belly button: I will still be an innie for a while.

What I am looking forward to: My next US and graduating from my RE! I'm going to miss those people like crazy! The US is Wednesday at 9:45. It can't come soon enough! 

Milestones: Making it another week. Only a few more weeks until the first tri is over! 

I've been busy doing *this*

Sorry I've been MIA. Night shift is the 7th level of Hades sometimes. 

8 weeks! RASPBABY!

My mornings: I don't want to wake up!!!

My nights: Hot flashes despite it being 68 degrees in my house. I'm sleeping with half of my body out of the covers.

How far along: 8 weeks

How big is baby: Raspberry or as my little cousin likes to say... RASPBABY! He's always called raspberries this and I hope he never stops.

Baby weighs about .04 ounces and is about .63 inches long. In man terms, the baby is about as big as a jelly bean or a quarter. This one doesn't make sense to me since a quarter is bigger than a jelly bean, but whatevs you get the visual. 

Weight: 

Starting weight: 125

Total weight gain: 2.

This week: -3 to 127.

How I’m changing: My boobs have went from a 34B to a 34C. I started using a hair tie to help with my jeans. 

What I miss: I miss running. I did have the amazing opportunity to walk/jog the Color Me Rad over the weekend! It was amazing and there will be a blog post with pics later! 

Symptoms: The constant hunger has taken a break for a couple days. I've got a good appetite but the every two hour eating binge has slowed down. It's been replaced with the urgent need to pee. 

The fatigue is no joke. It's unreal how powerful it is some days. Like I mentioned before, I spent Saturday at the CMR race, running around with two amazeballs women and went to my local Relay For Life. I dropped them off at the airport early Sunday morning and the proceeded to sleep the rest of the day away. I immediately went back to bed for three hours, was awake for 2.5 hours and then back to sleep for another hour and half. Despite two naps, I still went to bed before 9 last night. And the time that I was awake was spent making out with my couch. 

Cravings: I would say nothing specific since I haven't had the "OMG I HAVE TO EAT THIS NOW" feeling. However, I have eaten 3 Firehouse chicken salads in 5 days. So maybe that counts? 

Food Aversions: Nothing yet. Food is still appealing right now. 

Highlights this week: We got to see and hear the heartbeat!!!! It was going fast at 147 and the baby was measuring anywhere from two days behind to right on track with our IUI date. Dr A was happy with that and will see me again when I am 9w,3d. 

Maternity clothes: Big score this week with two totes of clothes from my SIL and her sister. I pulled out the stuff that is in season now and have worn a couple shirts that are helping to cover the bloat. The pants fit pretty well and I'm excited for when I will feel the need to finally switch over to them. 

Stretch marks: None.

Sleep: If I didn't have the night sweats, I think I would be sleeping good. Those are the only thing that keeps waking me up. I have had a few weird dreams but I can never remember them after I wake up. 

Best moment last week: The US and heartbeat! 

Movement: Nothing but gas.

Gender: If I go by heartbeat, then the wives tale says girl. 

Labor signs: Nope. Way too soon.

Belly button: I will still be an innie for a while.

What I am looking forward to: My next US and graduating from my RE! I'm going to miss those people like crazy!

Milestones: Hearing the heartbeat was a huge deal for me. All of the worrying will never stop but it was a huge relief to hear that sweet sound. 

It's Friday the 13th. RUUUNNNNN!!!

We're ready to runnnnnnn!!!! Or walk quickly. Thank goodness this run isn't timed! 

Ultrasound results!!!

I'm sorry this is so late. I've been running around like a chicken with its head cut off all day. 

Today was my 7w,4d US and we got to see and hear the heartbeat! 

It was beating at 147 and is measuring on track. On a couple measurements, Dr A said it showed two days and then one day behind and another showed exactly at 7w,4d. At this point we're sticking with that date. 

My next US will be in 13 days at 9w,3d and it should be my graduation day from my RE! This is a big day in the IF world and it's going to be bittersweet. These people are the ones who helped create this miracle and it's going to be tough to say goodbye. Plus, it's awesome getting US every other week. 

He recommended an OB and I'm going to speak to her soon to see if I want to go to her. 

Without further words and fluff, here's another shot of the good stuff! 

Infertility's silver lining

The daily pain and struggle through IF encompasses every waking moment. You base your life on your cycle and consider things in two weeks at a time. What days can you be away from your husband? When are doctor appointments? Can you go on a trip? Can you go out for drinks or will you be in your two week wait? 

Plans that need to be made months from now seem like an impossible task. You don't want to plan something that may be during your fertile window or even during a time when you need to be going for every other day ultrasounds. 

Unfortunately, there's no way to plan for this and you realize you have to live your life. If you have to change your plans when the time comes, then you do it. 

During it all, there comes a moment when the despair, pain, anger, confusion, etc seems to not be the worst thing in your life. You find a silver lining. 

Somewhere in my midst of my journey, I realized that without my IF, I would never have spent so much time researching and learning about my body and fertility. And the teachers weren't Google. The teachers were people who would eventually become my friends. 

This weekend, I will have the privilege of meeting two women who I like to call my teachers, cheerleaders, supporters and more importantly my friends. 

Months ago, we were chatting online about something that I can't even remember now. Somehow, the conversation ended up with people talking about the areas they live. Sarah asked how close I was to a certain city. My answer, "Zero miles." 

Come to find out Sarah and Celeste had been trying to figure out the midway point between Mississippi and New Jersey and  it turns out it was the city in which I live. 

It took less than an hour for us to nail down a plan to meet up. Sarah and I were in the middle of the Couch 2 5K program and Celeste was our coach and idol as a marathoner and crazy freak who can run more miles in one day that I can run in a month. I mean freak in the nicest way possible. Holy crap, I can't even imagine moving my legs for 26.1 miles. 

Time has passed and here we are!!!

It's time for the Color Me Rad race. We are running as a way to fight back against IF. It's basically a 5k fun race and runners are bombed with colored corn starch at stages. Why? You ask? Because we can. Because it's fun and because we want to. There's no real point to the CMR. It's just a way to feel awesome and get dirty. 

You'd be nuts to not want to be as happy as that kid! 

Plus, we're doing this too...

Celeste made us some shirts for our team, properly named FU IF. You can read between the letters to know what it stands for. 

I'm literally bouncing off the walls with excitement. I can't wait to get dusted with color. I can't want to run in a tutu. But mostly, I can't wait to meet these two amazing women who have shown me that in every storm, there is a silver lining. You just have to look real hard to find it. 

7 weeks: I have a blueberry!

My mornings: What do you classify as morning? I'm back on my 4 night shifts. Morning to me is 4 p.m. Feeling good and awake, despite only sleeping 45 minutes at a time.

My nights: 6 a.m. is my bed time and if it is delayed by another hour, I wouldn't survive. Some days, I'm not even sure how I drive home after work. Overall, my nights are filled with bloat buildup from the day or evening or night shift. Ah heck, I can't even tell you what day it is much less what TIME of day it is. 

How far along: 7 weeks

How big is baby: Baby is a blueberry and is .51 inches. It weighs .04 ounces! It is now measurable in weight as well as size. This week is when several important formations start happening, including the little nose bud. I'm just hoping the nose looks like DH's instead of mine. 

Weight: I'm going to say 125 was my starting weight. It's a nice pretty number and the weight gain from OHSS and my previous running/in shape weight was affected by that. Considering I am bloated and eating like a horse, it doesn't surprise me that the scale says I've gained 5 pounds in one week. But that was mid afternoon weigh in and I know the poop baby and bloat are large parts of that. Otherwise, I'm really going to gain 100 pounds this pregnancy. 33 more weeks x 5 pounds a week = OH CRIKEEEE! Don't do that math please. 

How I’m changing: My boobs have went from a 34B to a 34C and I'm closing my belt at one larger size now. I started unbuckling my pants at work. 

What I miss: I miss running.

Symptoms: I may eat myself out of house and home before too long. I can't eat enough. No matter what I do, I am hungry a couple hours after eating. 

Here's one that does concern me a bit. For as long as I can remember, I've had moments where it feels like my heart skips a beat. It chokes me up and I started coughing. Before pregnancy, I noticed it once a monthish. Maybe? It wasn't anything frequent so I didn't worry much about it. Since my BFP, it has increased and happens daily, sometimes more. I'm definitely going to mention it to my doctor, but from what I'm reading it can be normal and a result of the increased blood supply and flow. 

No morning sickness. Thank goodness. The fatigue still hits me every day. That's been rough to deal with on night shift, but I'm crawling through it.

Sore boobs and cramps continue. Nothing new there.

Cravings: Nothing specific. Just hungry. All. The. Dang. Time. I looked back at last weeks post and I said then it was easing up some from the previous week, so that gives me hope that this constant hunger will fluctuate and ease up eventually. 

Food Aversions: Nothing yet. Food is still appealing right now. 

Highlights this week: DH is being incredibly sweet. He touches my bloat belly all the time and gets me anything I want. This is a major change for him. He's not an overly emotional guy and those of you IRL who know him would never see him hugging and kissing me in front of others. He will probably never be the overly romantic guy, but he takes care of me. He just doesn't like credit for it. He doesn't even like it if I thank him for his kindness. He's a weirdo. 

Maternity clothes: None yet. But pants may be switching soon if the bloat keeps growing. I don't have much more room in these pants. 

Stretch marks: None.

Sleep: Some nights I sleep good. Some I don't. It still hurts to lay on my boobs, but I have had a few nights of not having to wear a sports bra to bed so that's more comfortable. 

Best moment last week: We're refinancing our house. Yay for hopefully getting a new lower interest rate and mortgage payment soon! 

Movement: Nothing but gas.

Gender: This week my mind says boy. Next week it will say girl. 

Labor signs: Nope. Way too soon.

Belly button: I will still be an innie for a while.

What I am looking forward to: My next US at 7w,4d. Thursday can't come soon enough! 

Plus, this week is going to end with a bang as it's finally time to meet two of my creepy online friends! They're coming to town! I can't wait to meet you Cici and Sarah! More to come on the reason for their trip in an upcoming post! 

Milestones: Everything is a milestone for me so far. I'm trying to stay positive but I have my moments of weakness and worry. But each day that passes is a good day for me. 

Something you shouldn't call 911 for...

If you're going to call 911 and have officers check on your boyfriend who is making suicidal threats, please consider this first. 

Please don't send them to his 

house and wake up his wife at 1:30 a.m. She's not going to be very happy about it. 

Also, make sure he isn't just making false threats just so he doesn't have to see previously mentioned mistress that night. It's also helpful to know if he has ANOTHER mistress on the side since his wife thinks he is staying with a sister tonight. 

If dude wasn't serious about dying before, he may be now. Especially, since his wife and two girlfriends are pissed off and ready to kill him. 

Walking along fine and then...

Life's going great. Feeling good and then BAM, I'm narcoleptic. 

It's insane. It's not like I'm tired all the time. I feel good. I have energy. I get enough sleep and then a truck called sleep hits me and knocks me on my butt. 

Taking a nap in the parking lot of a grocery store on my lunch break is not beneath me. 

This is all I want to do right now. 

Welcome to crazy town.

There should be a sign on top of The Bump's April Birth Month Board warning people not to come in unless they are prepared to see a goat rodeo of stupid. 

If you linked here from my siggy on TB and you're on April BMB, you know what I'm talking about. 95% of those women are nuttier than rat crap in a peanut factory. 

So far, they've already discussed carrying handguns in diaper bags, homosexuality, making women who have had miscarriages feel bad, making women who have not had miscarriages feel bad, and my latest favorite is about breastfeeding. The latest genius says this isn't Africa and she doesn't like to see a baby nurse in public while she's eating. 

::breathe in Jesus. Breathe out Satan::

I swear if someone said this to me in person, I could not be held responsible for my wrath. 

For anyone who wants to stalk me and my progress in pregnancy, you will hardly  ever find me on my BMB. It pisses me off so much and I get too stabbity. I'm still here and will keep blogging, but I won't be there much. I am always lurking on my favorite boards and cheering my girls on who are still TTC. My sanity would have been gone if not for you guys during the past two years. 

And if you're ever looking for a laugh or want to raise your blood pressure, go visit April 2014. It's now becoming famous around the other boards and I'm pretty sure TB Gods will rename it Crazy Town, eventually.