How many are in there????

We have ONE!!!!

Everything looks good and right on track. Dr A said he could see the fetal pole. We won't be able to see the heartbeat until after next week. 

I may stay with him through 9 weeks and I could have possibly two more US with him. My next one is set for two weeks from today, and we should be able to see the heartbeat at that time. 

Without anything further, here's the proof that this whole pregnancy is getting real! 

6 week list all the things!!!!

***I have no idea why this is showing that it posted a couple days ago. Correct post date is Monday, Sept. 2, 2013. ***

My mornings: Yay! My pants fit. Boo. My boobs hurt. There is weird mix of pain and pleasure every time I take off my bra.

My nights: Sooo, soooo tired. The past three days I've taken an hour nap each day and still went to bed before 11 p.m. 

How far along: 6 weeks according to IUI date. RE may change my due date based on my next US. 

How big is baby: Baby is a sweet pea and is about .25 inches. It will double in size again this week and be measurable by weight next week. 

Weight: Before the start of my last cycle I was 123. Then I had some bloating/OHSS and was up to almost 130 at one point right before the BFP. By the time it settled down I was 125 and have stayed there since the BFP. 

How I’m changing: My boobs have went from a 34B to a 34C and I'm closing my belt at one larger size now. 

What I miss: I miss running. I only went for one 2 mile walk/jog a couple days ago and I got scared because I was cramping some afterwards. Since then, I've been afraid to jog again. I hope to go for another couple mile walk tonight. 

Symptoms: Since I only started this check in at week 6, let me recap what I had prior to this week for history's sake. 

It was amazing how quickly the symptoms came after my BFP. My boobs were sore to start with from the Progesterone gel and have continued to be worse some days than others. During week 4, I had a lot of cramps and tugging. There was a couple of days of dizziness thrown in there. I was hungry every couple of hours. Thanks to y'all's advice, I packed quick snacks of grapes, apples, blueberries, etc. for work. I've eaten Ritz crackers and spoonfuls of peanut butter for those little moments when I can't make myself something. 

Week 5 continued with sore boobs and the cramps died down some. I had one really bad day of dizziness. I didn't eat after 4:30 p.m. and went to bed early. That night I woke up with terrible dizziness and no matter what I ate, it wouldn't go away until the next evening. I've had two waves of nausea that both happened after I ate large meals. 

Week 6 is just starting out. Today, I've had a little cramping and the boobs are still like little bowling balls on my chest. I'm wearing a sports bra 90% of the time, even at night. The fatigue has hit like a Mack truck. I've taken a nap the past four days. When it hit at work, it was all I could do to hold my head off my keyboard. I started getting up and walking around to try to wake myself up. 

Cravings: Nothing specific. Just hungry. It actually seems to be easing up some over the past couple of days. The hunger pains aren't as bad but I still eat pretty often and make sure to eat some toast or some cereal before bed. 

Food Aversions: Nothing yet. Food is still appealing right now. Thank goodness.

Highlights this week: At 5w,4d we had our first US and confirmed correct placement and that there is only one little baby in there. We released three eggs for this IUI so the check for multiples was the reason for the US. 

Maternity clothes: None, although I did switch from regular bra to sports bras. 

Stretch marks: None.

Sleep: Some nights I sleep good, but on the nights I don't it's usually blamed on my sore boobs. I am a stomach sleeper so I inadvertently roll over on them a lot and it wakes me up immediately. 

Best moment last week: The US and getting the first picture of the little bean. 

Movement: Nothing but gas.

Gender: I go back and forth right now. 

Labor signs: Nope. Way too soon.

Belly button: I will still be an innie for a while.

What I am looking forward to: My next US at 7w,4d.

Milestones: Everything is a milestone for me so far. I'm trying to stay positive but I have my moments of weakness and worry. But each day that passes is a good day for me. 

So many decisions. So little time.

I will be honest. After the first 8 months of trying to get pregnant and especially after we began IF treatment at the year mark, I didn't think about what it would be like to actually be pregnant. 

I stopped pinning baby clothes and cute toys to my secret Pinterest account. (Yes, I have a whole butt load crap of pins on an entire account. Those tiny secret boards weren't enough for my pin hoarding.) 

I stopped looking at baby items in stores. 

I stopped researching or even lurking on the baby and trimester Internet community boards. 

It seemed easier to ignore it all and face IF head on. Seeing the pregnancy and baby reminders made my thoughts darker and deeper. 

When DH mentioned something about names or anything dealing with future children, I told him I didn't want to talk about it. Painful can't even describe the hurt you feel during IF when you think, "This may never happen for us." 

I was a Ostrich sticking her head in the ground while I let God only knows who look at my whooha sticking in the air and do lots of lovely medical things in nether regions. 

The problem with my displacement is that now that I am pregnant, my main thoughts are, "I have no freaking clue what to do now!" 

I didn't think about all of this before. I didn't plan for what to do once we actually conceived. 

Where will I deliver? How do I see myself delivering? Who will I choose to be my doctor? How do I invent a chair that keeps DH sitting upright after he passes out in the delivery room? Do they make adult harnesses for hospital couches? Is the 1/2 Mountain Dew I just swallowed going to make my baby come out with caffeine withdrawals? 

See what I am saying? So many questions. Many of which I am completely serious about, i.e. the harness thing. 

 

The biggest question for me right now is where will I deliver? 

Having a water birth has always been a dream for me. I've wanted to do that ever since seeing it on A Baby Story or some other cheesy labor and delivery show. 

Research shows the closest facility to me is a birth center about 1:15 minutes away from us. Midwives provide the prenatal and delivery care and the center is just around the corner from the city's major hospital. On paper, it sounds great. 

In reality, my mind is reaching for all the worst possible scenarios. I will be pregnant and traveling during winter months for over two and a half hours round trip. Snow and icy conditions are a real possibility anytime from October through March. 

In a pinch, I could always deliver at our local hospital, but then I would be charged double with the prenatal care at the birth center and delivery at a hospital with a complete stranger as a doctor. 

None of our local hospitals offer water birth as an option. They're known for not being med-free birth friendly. They're eager and happy to dispense an epidural or C section to anyone. 

I'm basing this opinion off several birth stories from friends who wanted a natural med free birth and explicitly detailed in a birth plan to not even offer an Epi. However, the plans were often overlooked. 

Things change. I get that. I don't look down on someone who changes her mind and gets an Epi. I just don't want a nurse or doctor offering it when I've asked them to help me reach my goal. 

It's very clear that I will need a doula or close family or friend to assist me in my birth. DH has a track record with not keeping his eyes open during medical procedures. 

To date, he has passed out during shots, blood draws, my IUI, and a school first aid video of amputated fingers. (Think SPIRIT FINGERS but only with little tendons wiggling around) 

Needless to say, I don't have high hopes in his ability to remain conscious. I do want him in there as much as he can tolerate, but if he needs to step out in the hallway, that's fine. I just need to make sure I have someone to assist me while he is trying to keep upright. 

I have asked around for recommendations of OBs in my area should I choose to go med free in a hospital. 

So far, two of the options are getting mixed reviews. Another is the OB group associated with the local medical school and university. This is the same affiliation that Dr A has and the reason I have medical students being offered the once in a lifetime chance to stare at my perfect mucous. 

I haven't heard any reviews on it but I do enjoy having med students involved in my care. The doctors usually spend more time explaining things to students which in turn gives me more to learn. 

My decision is still being tossed in the air. I am not released from my RE yet, but I want to make this decision soon so I can get an appointment set up soon after my release. 

It seems like all of the little decisions I make now are going to affect my entire pregnancy and delivery and that large burden is a little overwhelming at times. 

If anyone sees one of these in a larger adult version, please buy it for me. KTHX!?!

Lesson learned.

I learned my lesson. I promise I will eat something every few hours so that I won't end up in this position again. 

When I first got my BFP, I wasn't eating enough and I was constantly dizzy for a few days. Once I started eating and drinking lots, I instantly felt better. I'm lucky because I haven't been sick yet. 

::knocks on wood::

::tosses salt:: 

::crosses fingers::

Yesterday afternoon, I ate a sandwich and then went fishing with DH. We fished for a couple hours and then got ready for bed at 8:30 p.m. (Don't judge me. 4 a.m. is way to early.)

I wasn't hungry when I went to bed. Around 11, I woke up sweating. Apparently, pregnancy has also sparked menopause-like hot flashes. Whooowee! Those things can make you feel like you're sitting next to a hot rock in Hades.  When I rolled over, my head felt like a balloon drifting away. I tried to ignore it and go back to sleep. Didn't happen. 

Around midnight, I ate some crackers, grapes, chex cereal and orange juice. Didn't help. 

4 a.m. rolled around and I still felt like crap on a stick, only now with occasional hot spells like the moment right before you lose your lunch. But, I don't have a sick stomach. 

Whatever it is, I don't like it. I feel unsafe driving. I'm sitting at work and I feel like I need to strap my head to the chair. I'm forcing an apple with peanut butter down my throat now. I hope it helps. 

Consider this a lesson learned. Must eat at least a snack even when I'm not hungry. 

Sharing the news

We couldn't lie to our families any longer. They knew of our cycle and were waiting with baited breath for the outcome. I did fib and tell them it would be several days after my expected day for AF so we had a little time to play with.

DH can't lie. He's terrible at it. So when his mom asked, he told. She knew my cycle and had been giving me some of my intramuscular shots. Simple as that. She's a no nonsense woman who expresses few outward emotions. I love her for that because she doesn't get excited or flip her shat when the poop is hitting the fan. She may not have screamed and jumped up and down to DH, but she was over the moon when she called me and has been when she calls me every other day to check on me. 

For my mom and dad, I had the naive dreams of a newb who wants to plan some elaborate surprise. My dream was always to set up a family photo and instead of saying "Cheese!" we say, "She's pregnant!" 

But, life doesn't always work out the way our dreams would like so we had to do something simple because I know they were expecting to hear something in the next couple of days. 

We drove an hour and dropped by my parents house. Mom and I had been planning a shopping trip soon and as she was fixing supper, I asked if she would pick me up something when she went shopping.

Her: Sure. What do you need? 

Me: Some maternity clothes.

Her: WHAAAATTTTTTOOOOOMMMMMYYYGOOODNESSSSAAAARREEEEYOOOUUUSSSSEEEERRRRIIIIOOOUUUSSSS???!?!?!?!?!????????1!!1!!!!1!!??1!?

Hugs were exchanged all around and Mom was in tears. Her immediate reaction was "We have all sorts of things to shop for now!"

As for my SIL and brother... Well she knew before anyone else in my family. She reads my blog. 

::Hiiiii Sis In Law. Waves!!!:: 

So when I announced here, it didn't take her long to read it here and go from cool and calm to THIS!!!!

She kept her promise and my secret safe and I was able to tell my brother the evening after I told my parents. 

I called and said, "What are you doing next April?"

Bro: Uhhhhh. I don't know.

Me: How would you like to become an uncle?

Bro: Oh My God. Are you serious?!

It was the exact way he told me when they got pregnant and I was going to be an aunt. 

Later that night, I texted my BFF. 

As soon as she called, she was in blubbery tears. I love her for her pure raw emotions. 

BFF: Are you????

Me: Yes. I'm pregnant. 

::cue tears from both of us:: 

That's all that we're telling for now. It will be a long time before we reveal to the extended family and then the rest of our friends. Like always, I have IF brain and I'm always thinking of the worst. Focusing on what I am thankful for and concentrating on that I am pregnant today helps calm my fears. 

I felt significantly better after the 2nd beta and didn't realize I was holding my breath  until I sank down to the kitchen floor. I sat there and remembered my crying melt down about a Lucky Charms box not fitting in the cabinet right after getting a bill for nearly $10,000 for my Lap in the mail. 

With that said, I'm hoping that more weight will be lifted off after the first US. It's scheduled for next Thursday. At that point I will be 5W, 4D so I'm hoping we will be able to see something. 

Annnnd, just for grins and giggles...

Today I am Thankful

I am thankful for my cramps. It makes me feel like something is happening inside me. 

I am thankful for my sore boobs. One of my biggest goals for parenting is to be able to breast feed, so I love that my boobs are doing what they need to do at this point in the journey. 

I am thankful for my family. They've known our struggles for several months now and they're always willing to help. I can't possibly list all the things they've done to help us. Ranging from financial assistance to emotional support during my surgery and failed cycles. To now, they are celebrating with us as we finally have success. (The post about telling our family's will come shortly).

I am thankful for my friends, in real life and my fake Internet friends. You are my rock and you've always been there when I've needed a shoulder. More importantly,  you understand. There is no need for explanation. There is no need for me to try to justify the feelings of IF. You guys knew and you didn't judge. 

I will forever be thankful to my injects donor. I've never asked if I can share her name here, but I did send her an email recently telling her of our BFP and how much her donation meant to me. I'm not sure we would have been able to do the injects IUI the second time without that donation. 

4 weeks, 1 day

Officially late for my period and I can't finally count myself in weeks and days. It's still unreal to me sometimes. 

I have to keep reminding myself that I am pregnant. Even though I feel completed different, in some ways I feel completely the same. Unfortunately, you don't automatically grow a baby bump to physically remind you that it's real. 

Other times, all it takes is a twinge of a cramp or if I move and shift my boobs to remind me that "ah, yes, I have symptoms." 

When I first started getting BFPs, I was dizzy and lightheaded for a few days. That has since passed and I've learned to eat more often to keep that from happening more often. 

One undeniable issue is that I can't eat enough. I get full pretty quickly but then 2 hours later I'm starving again. If I keep eating this way, I'm going to gain 100 pounds. I'm lucky right now because I don't have morning sickness yet but my stomach has been churning. I am attributing most of that to nerves. 

This is how much I ate today: 

10 am: cereal

12:30 pm: pasta salad 

4:30 pm: tilapia and broccoli 

7:30: blueberries and French fries

10 pm: Oreo cheesecake milkshake

It's now almost midnight and I'm thinking about warming my overnight snack up. 

I'm thankful that I am not sick and I hope that I never get sick, but for now, I'm surprised at this appetite change. It's amazing how two weeks ago, I was not like this at all and now it's completely flipped my life around. In a good way. 

My immediate family members and my BFF know about the BFP and all have been sworn to secrecy. During my talk with my BFF and SIL last night I said, "I know so much about infertility and treatments. I've spent two years trying to get pregnant. But, now that I'm pregnant, I don't have a clue what to do." 

I guess there's not much else to do but eat when I feel like it, drink water and take care of myself. 

Milkshakes are considered good for me. Right? 

Second beta is in

This is a time when I wish I knew how to post a gif by mobile. Because I'm that home alone kid screaming in the mirror right now.

First beta was 76 at 11 DPIUI. They want it to double over two days. 

Second beta at 14 DPIUI is 274! That's more than tripling over three days. 

Holy snikeees! Shizzz just got real.

Scared.

That's the only way I can describe this feeling of not knowing what's going on. 

You try not to get your hopes up. You try not to fall in love with being pregnant, even if it is only a few days along. But, it's impossible. 

Today is my second beta and I am so scared.

I don't really have much of a reason to be, but I took another test this morning and the line is lighter than yesterday's. It's more comparable to my 12DPIUI test. Today is only 14 DPIUI and the day that should have been AF. 

All I can try to do is be thankful and repeat my mantra. 

I am thankful I am not spotting. I am thankful I am not cramping terribly. I am thankful for the boob pain. I am thankful for the twinges and cramps as they reassure me that hopefully something is happening. 

Today I am pregnant and I am thankful for that. 

Pulled out the big gun.

I was afraid to take this test before now. Even though I kept seeing that second line, I didn't want to take the chance of seeing "Not Pregnant." But after my good beta yesterday, I wanted to pull out the big gun digital test.

 

Whoa. 

And since I like to share things that I pee on, here's my 12 DPIUI test. As you can see, it's getting darker. 

Bravo Foxtrot Papa.

I've been waiting for almost two years to write this post, and now I don't know what to say. I will let the picture explain it.

 Today is 11 DPIUI, 13 DPT and this is the first day that I have actually believed that I am pregnant. I started getting positive tests at 7DPO, but I have used every excuse in the book to not believe the tests until this morning. While testing out my trigger, I was getting a very faint line at 5 DPIUI and 6 DPIUI. The 6 DPIUI was so light that I figured 7 DPIUI would be completely gone. After coming off a 12 hour night shift, I peed on the stick, put it with the others and went to bed. Eight hours later, I looked at the test and said, "Well, that's not right." It was darker than the rest and obviously invalid. 

For the next few days, I kept getting positives but they were so light within the testing time frame that I didn't believe them. As a recipient of a previous bad batch of Wondfos, I convinced myself that they were false positives because they would darken up after the time limit. This was a new batch of Wondfos, so I dipped one in water. Huh? Well that was blank. Cue moments of Holy SHAIDOHAHDIHEFFFFDAHIHDH is this possibly for real? 

10 DPIUI was the first day that I could first see the second line within the time limit. They're still faint, but are getting darker. 

 HOW I TOLD DH: Well I kinda didn't. He asked me. So I had to fess up. On 9 DPIUI, he looked at my line of pee sticks/trigger tests and asked what they meant. I tried to explain about a trigger fading and that if it gets darker then it's a BFP. He said, "Why is this one darker?" I said, "Because it could be ..." and I proceeded to explain every situation about why it was not a real BFP. Since then, every morning, he has asked if I took another test. 

This morning I woke up at 4 a.m. for dayshift and when I saw the obvious BFP, I tried to contain my excitement and wanted to wait to wake him until closer to his wakeup time. He woke up anyways and came out of the bedroom and just looked at me. 

Him: Are you going to the doctor today? 

Me: Yes.

Him: What did the test say? 

 Me: It says I'm pregnant. 

We hugged and he mumbled, "Thank God." 

And then in classic fashion for him, DH said, "Have you told the father yet?" 

We're classy like that. 

WHAT WE DID This was our last cycle trying with help. We were looking towards saving for adoption or further fertility treatments. We did a Hail Mary with the RE and pushed the injects to the max that we were comfortable with. We did a combo of Femara 2.5 mg, Gonal F 75 IU, Menopur and a trigger with IUI on CD 14. Crinone Progesterone gel 8% from 2DPIUI. DH's post wash was 49 million and we released 3 follies. We hit 0-3, 0-2, IUI/O.

I didn't do anything out of the ordinary except for eat lots of tomatoes. Apparently, three tomato plants in a garden is enough to feed about 10 people a day. I had lots of them, so I ate lots of them. I drank lots of water because I didn't have any Diet Dr. Pepper in the house. I have been running and training for my 5k in September. I went to the zoo on Wednesday and saw a stork. We had a discussion about things and I think we had a special moment. 

SYMPTOMS No I don't have morning sickness or my mucous plug hasn't come out yet like some newly pregnant women swear to, but I do have random cramping and a burning sensation type of cramps. It's different than my AF cramps. I also have the zits of a 16 year old girl. This one is completely new to me since I get about 3 zits a month. Right now I've got 4 and my face looks like it may explode with break outs. My Bewbs. Oh dear Bajeezus my boobs hurt. Of course the progesterone gel is probably causing most of it, but seriously, this is the biggest symptom for me. You may think I am crazy, but they are bigger. I've had small boobs my whole life and they're barely fitting in my bras. Normally I can fit into a 34A, but I tried that on this morning. Yeah, uh no. I look like Dolly Parton in that little bra. So, I put on my 34B which has always been comfortable and I'm seriously debating taking it off during work. It's like I got an instant boob job. Score! 

Bloat. Enough said. The RE thinks I may have some minor OHSS from the three follies. Currently, I'm just drinking lots of Gatorade, trying to rest and eating more protein. They say it can be worse when you're pregnant, so this makes sense.

EDD: April 28, 2014. 

BETA: HCG was 76 and progesterone was 27.3. My RE's office is awesome and when I called before coming in, the receptionist had already told everyone in the office, so when I walked in, they all started smiling and crossing their fingers. When I was leaving, the receptionist, said, "I've got my legs, arms and fingers crossed. Good luck!" 

Since my results came in at around 3 p.m., my RE's office has called three times! They are so stinking nice! The nice blood nurse called initially with the results. The 30 seconds that it took her to pull up the results was the longest month of my life. After her, IVF/IUI Nurse and RE's wife called next and congratulated me and when she confirmed how many DPIUI I was she said, "Wow. That's early. And that's a good beta." Yes, Ma'am and I understand what that means. We both paused and both know that betas aren't a good indicator of multiples, but it's also something that is possible. 15 minutes later, Wonder Woman Nurse Mary called and was also so excited for me and reminded me of my Monday appointment.

I will go back in on Monday to check to see if the beta's double. (For those not familiar, many IF patients are blood tested for HCG beta numbers. A viable pregnancy should have doubling beta numbers every two days.) After the betas reach a certain number and I get a few more days along, I will go in for my first scan/US in a week or so. At that point, RE will be able to see how many little guys are implanted. To say I am a little worried about multiples is an understatement. A singleton was our wish. Twins would be outstanding, but triplets would scare the crap out of me. Being pregnant with multiples scares me more than the care for them after they're born. I know there are many complications for a multiples pregnancy, so it would be worrisome. 

But, at this point, I am overjoyed and will be ecstatic no matter what. I will continue the progesterone gel through the 1st Trimester unless the RE changes that plan in the future. 

WARM AND FUZZIES: I can't explain how much I love you guys. There are too many of you to name one by one. I know I will forget some, but Say1009, RunCiCi, Sunlavender, Charmed, Banker, Panther, Gonz, Stufie, and so many others. If I left you out, it's not because I don't want to hug and squeeze you. I am just so frazzled right now that I can't type. I want to roll all of you guys up into a little ball and carry you in my pocket. 

If you know me in real life, please, please, please, do not post anything on my FB wall. We won't be coming out there for a long time. Much love to you guys! I can't even begin to explain how much you all mean to me.

We will be telling a select few IRL friends when the time is right. If you're one of them, please know that I will announce it to you soon and please keep it quiet. This is the downside of reading the blog. You get to know sooner than others but you won't get a personal announcement until we feel comfortable sharing. Much love!

Look! I found a stork.

He technically couldn't find me because he's caged up, but I will do what I have to do, so I went to visit him yesterday. 

Tagging along to the zoo with my SIL and her kiddos was such a fun way to spend a morning and keep my mind away from these last few days of the 2WW. 

It's the cutest little zoo about 20 minutes from our houses and they've got just the right amount of animals to visit but not get overwhelmed. The only thing missing was elephants! And tigers. But other than that, it's got a lot of furry things to visit.

This little guys doesn't look like the friendly stork you see in cartoons and pretty pictures. He looks like he's had a rough time, but hey, so have I recently, so we've got that in common.

He's called a Marabou Stork. We had a discussion about how he hasn't visited me so I came to see him instead. We had a good moment together.

The monkeys were adorable, as always. 

And, Valerie the Giraffe, was beautiful, as you can see.

Even though she is giving me the stink face. 

Status update 9 DPIUI

I'm still here and still waiting. 

I've got every symptom in the world, thanks a lot Crinone. The progesterone supplement is nice since its actually keeping the spotting away, but the side effect is I get all the awesome phantom symptoms magnified by ten. 

Acne. Check. 

Bloat. Check. 

Cramps. Check. 

Sore boobs. Quadruple check.

DH made the mistake of grabbing my boob when he passed by in the bedroom. I quickly made it clear that the next time he does that, the first thing I will grab is his balls and like a good snapping turtle, I won't let go until it thunders. 

I'm going to confess something.

I have a reader from Guyana and I have no idea where that is. If I was on Who Wants to be a Millionaire and was asked to pinpoint China on a map, I couldn't do it. 

But, apparently, I have readers there too. Someone from Poland has also been creeping the blog. I find this fascinating. Even though I have no idea where you people are located, I welcome each and everyone one of you. 

Checking out where my pageviews come from makes me happier than the number of views I get a day. When I get a new country or area, it's like I found a new penpal. 

 My viewers from Canada have also increased. (Yes, I do know where Canada is, eh.) I know you're out there creeping, but feel free to comment and say hi. I love lurkers but I pink puffy heart my commenters. Also, commenters get free cookies. 

Girl Scout Cookies, but only Caramel Delights. I'm out of Thin Mints. And if you call them Samoas, then we can't be friends.

Post and run

It's 2:30 a.m. and I am eating ice cream while taking 911 calls. Why, you ask? Because they don't let me drink alcohol while taking 911 calls. 

I may or may not have told a drunk woman that an officer would not pick up and deliver her children home and that it was her responsibility as a mother to take care of them. We are not a taxi service. We also don't have car seats. I left out the part where I mentally called her a piece of poop mother. 

This night is getting on my last nerve and I'm ready for it to end.

As for my progress on the Operation Knock A Girl Up, I am 6 DPIUI and 8 DPT (8 days past trigger if I haven't explained that before).

The trigger is fading and is barely visible with the naked eye on my hpts. Crinone supplement is going OK but I'm getting all the usual symptoms. Bloat. Boobs hurt. Hunger. Etc. 

Here's yesterday's trigger tests: 

I'm a 13 year old boy.

I was going to take a picture of my lunch to brag about. This is what I ended up with. 

Nothing beats a homemade lunch. Corn and maters. Yum.

Pictures are worth a hundred words.

Today is 2 DPO and as you can see, the trigger is fading. 

Progesterone supplements started today. Yay for shoving another thing up my vadge. At a cost of $16 per vial of vajayjay gel, it's kinda disturbing to think I am shoving $16 inside of me every day. My wallet is not made of money, but my cooter is. 

My bewbs. Ah the bewbs. You'd think that if they're going to hurt this much, that they would at least make themselves useful and double in size. 

Speaking of doubling in size, my bloat, it's kinda ridiculous. I was in a bikini today and I don't want to talk about how it made me feel. But the belly bruises from repeated shots are fading, so not only is my belly twice as big as it should be but it's a nice yellow and green dotted color. Super cute. 

You know what else is super cute? These guys. FYI, it's not a fair wrestling match when the Golden Retriever pins the wiener and refuses to let her up. 

Random updates that don't deserve separate posts.

Spotting before AF has always been an issue for me, but until the past few cycles, it was considered normal with only a day or two before AF starts. Recently, it increased to 5 days. I took prometrium progesterone last cycle but it didn't help the spotting.

This cycle, Dr A prescribed Crinone, a progesterone gel that supposedly works better. It comes at a price. Over $200 for two weeks worth and it needs to be taken through the first trimester if I become pregnant. 

Nurse Missy and I talked about the pros and cons and her point hit home for me. She said try it for the next two weeks because if you don't you may regret it. Since this is our last cycle then we might as well go for broke. It's a good thing I got some extra money for my birthday. 

Happy birthday to me. 

There is definitely a difference between releasing three eggs and my normal one egg. My boobs have never been more a part of my life. I can't rollover at night. I can barely walk around without a bra. 

My bloat is still there. I've gained 3 pounds in three days. I will keep an eye on it as the days progress because OHSS is a real possibility. I'm hoping it may ease up before it gets to that point. 

I need to get back on track with running. My head cold, O pain and the bloat has slowed me down. My next run should be week 7, day 2, with a 2.5 mile run with no walking. I've got to step it up in order to finish the Couch 2 5K program before September! 

IUI 3 is done.

I know. I know. I'm terrible at updating early in the morning. (Sorry Gonz)

IUI was this morning at around 9:45. DH produces his part about an hour earlier while at work and I took it in immediately for processing. 

Funny side note: He made his deposit in a football stadium bathroom and as he handed it to me, he said, "I'm pretty sure it's frowned upon to get off during work hours. It's probably in the policy and procedures book."

True. It's probably frowned upon like masturbating on an airplane. (If you get that movie reference, you win 100 cool points.)

His total count was 233 million with 66% motile. Post wash was 49 million, so like always, those are fantastic numbers. IUIs usually require at least 5 million motile sperm. Yeah, we've got that part covered. Swim boys, SWIM! 

According to Dr A, my part looks great. My mucous is lovely. I don't know why it always amazes me when he makes the med students look at that. With everything else, they're focused on him and the US, but he always makes a point to direct them to my beautiful ovulatory CM. Awesome. Come on down, people. It's a party down here between my legs.

Hello Dildo Cam!

After the catheter was inserted and IUI finished, he did a US to check out my follies, or lack there of. 

Before I tell you about that, let me tell you about yesterday evening. Around 4 pm, my belly started hurting. My entire abdomen felt worse as the hours went into the night. I couldn't even sit down because when I sat, it felt like my innards had to adjust and slosh around for a minute before they started easing up. I swear my ovaries and other parts were swollen and so filled with fluid that I couldn't even lay down or sit without feeling like bowling balls were inside me. 

I've never experience ovulation pains like that. It was intense. 

Fast forward to today and as he's digging around with his dildo cam, he said "Did you have any pain over the weekend?" 

PAIN IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT! 

Ummmm, yes I did. The O pains were crazy bad. 

Dr A: "That's because all three follies released."

::cue freak out. Some one check to make sure my heart's still beating. Am I in cardiac arrest? No? Ok. Good::

We knew it was a chance that all three would release. And the chance of all three implanting is less than 5% but still.

We would be ecstatic with a singleton, delighted with twins and momentarily shocked and excited for triplets. 

At this point, I'm just hoping for one o fertilize and implant. That would be my miracle. Anything beyond that is a bonus! 

Since the doctors appointment, I've been calling pharmacies to price out Crinone. It's a progesterone gel that is supposed to help with my spotting during LP. It's crazy expensive when compared to the regular progesterone pill I was on last month. Two weeks worth is another $200+ and that's the cheapest quote I have from Freedom Fertility. Every other local pharmacy ranges from $250-420!!!

FYI, don't go to Walgreens or Walmart for it. Target is cheapest locally. 

And now, we wait. This may be our last 2ww for IF treatments. Until we make a decision, I leave you with a pic of my legs propped up as I marinate after the IUI. 

Now everyone has seen my legs and where the magic happens, it is officially a party down there!!!

As of 7:31 pm...

As of 7:31 p.m., I officially crossed over the line to 32 years old. 

Wow. 

I feel like I'm a mix between 22 and 40. Some days I feel like I'm older than dirt. 

Sorry about forgetting to update after yesterday's appointment. I got caught up in birthday dinners and feeling like how a butthole smells. I've caught DHs man cold and my head feels like its floating away. 

Today has been a good day of just being with DH. We went to the movies, ate loads of bad popcorn, he took me to my favorite cupcake shop for my birthday cake cupcake, and we shopped all day. Overall it's been a great day. We hardly have entire days to ourselves. It was nice. 

As for yesterday, it went well. I have to follies at 20 and 17 mm that will definitely release and a 14 that may grow enough to release. I'm triggering tonight and IUI will be Monday. Dr A was really hopeful for this cycle, but of course he is always hopeful. 

Side note: during the exam he was explaining to a med student about IVF and how expensive it was and detailing why it wasn't an option for many people without IF insurance coverage. I asked if he knew of any business around here that offered it. 

And yes, there is a company about 20 miles from my home that is based in an IF mandated state. That company offers $35,000 in IF coverage of IVF. You can bet your last dollar that I am open to a career change if this cycle doesn't work. 

One more reason my REs office is amazeballs!

I know that bringing children into an REs office is controversial and hurtful to some people, especially those who are still TTC #1. 

But, I realize that secondary IF is a very real disease, just like primary IF. I also recognize that the REs office should feel like a safe place as well. I appreciate the larger offices that have play rooms for children and I appreciate patients who do what they can to not bring their children to appointments. But, life doesn't work around our schedule and babysitters for a hour are hard to come by. 

In the past I've seen grandparents come to babysit the children in the waiting room or to hang out with them outside. Hey, whatever works. Ya know? 

I'm still in the waiting room as I type this. Inside the main office are two receptionists who know me by name and occupation and are genuinely lovely people. When I came in, there was another woman in the waiting room with a girl around 4-5 years old. The child was asleep on Mom's shoulder. When Wonder Woman Mary called her back, the woman struggled to stand under the weight of her sleeping child and gather her purse. WW Mary and the receptionists helped get her belongings and as she was going back, the receptionist asked if the girl would be OK to sleep on her during the appointment. 

Mom seemed relieved and said that would be great since the child had just fallen asleep in the car ride over. 

I was thinking in my head, where is she going to put this kid during the appointment? Let her sleep on the cold floor in the exam room? 

Awesome receptionist is now holding her as Mom is examined. The whole situation  warms my heart that they helped out the Mom and she is able to relax during her exam.

Since I started typing, the child woke up and is now coloring and apparently doesn't mind waking up on a stranger. Heck, if I could take a nap right now, I would take the risk of waking up on a stranger's shoulder too. 

Follie update #2.

CD 10 and second follie scan went well. 

I've got two 16mm on my right ovary and one 13 mm on my left. 2-3 follies is what we were hoping for so right now that looks like it may happen. 

I will give myself another Gonal F shot at 75 IU tonight and go for another scan tomorrow at 3:30. Hopefully they will grow some, especially the little 13. If there is good growth then I will do Menopur tomorrow and possibly trigger to do the IUI on Sunday morning. 

My birthday is Saturday so you can already guess what my birthday wish is.