Dog pictures. Adorableness inside!

I was going to write a blog post, but this keeps getting in my way. 

Have you ever seen a prettier dog? 

Then again, there is this little cereal beggar. She's pretty adorable too. 

Diet of a pregnant lady.

My diet today has consisted of a toaster strudel, three dill pickles, a raw potato and plum juice. 

The potato was going into my crock pot to swim along with the roast but it looked better in my mouth. 

And the plum juice is just for good measure for my intestines. Plus, it's much yummier than prune juice. 

Do not. I repeat DO NOT eat as I do. Your stomach will only regret it. 

Now, what's for lunch? 

Annoying coworker is annoying

Good morning and welcome to a middle of the morning post! 

Know why I am here? Because my coworker is annoying the bejeezus out of me and I'm looking busy over here so she will stop talking. 

Today was supposed to be the start of my 7 day break from work but I got called in. Whoopideedoo. 

The only good part is two words: Overtime Pay! 

Downside: it's with my arch nemesis and the biggest attention hoar I've ever met in my entire life. I can't even explain how bad this girl is. 

Me and another girl were talking about a recipe. Attention Ho piped in and said what she made for supper last night for her ex husband and son.

::Ok. Great. We weren't talking to you.::

Me and other coworker continued on talking about a recipe for cookies that I made last week. Attention Ho speaks up about candy that her baby daddy brought her. (Completely different father from the ex husband baby daddy)

::Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.::

At this point, we're 10 feet away from her and turned the opposite direction and whispering! We're obviously not including her. During a conversation about the Jackass TV show, she butts in and starts talking about something funny that Baby Daddy #2 did. 

I swear she doesn't know how to speak without it being about herself. I could say "I like potatoes." She would then tell me some completely off the wall story about her child, baby daddy, getting drunk and eating potatoes. 

This post makes absolutely no sense but it really doesn't need to. The main purpose of it is to make me appear completely engrossed in my phone so she won't bother me. It would be a lot easier if I could wear ear plugs at work. 

Unfortunately, they frown upon not listening to 911 callers.

At this point, I'm wishing for the 911 lines to ring because I need something to do. But it never works out like that. As soon as you wish for an end to the boredom, the whole world lays down and takes a nap and no one calls. But when you're praying for 15 free seconds so you can go pee, then all 12 lines start ringing. 

Take yesterday for example, I had gulped down about 186 ounces of water and needed to pee like a race horse. We were slammed busy and I was debating how humiliating it would be to pee my pants. I swear at that moment I would have gladly inserted a catheter just to get some relief. 

I should bring an extra pair of underwear and pants to work. That would be a good plan.

Or an adult diaper. 

13 weeks: Hello 2nd Trimester!!!!

My mornings: Dayshift begins with a wakeup at 4 a.m. so right now my mornings suck big hairy balls.

My nights: I go to bed at 8 p.m. I am apparently 90 years old.

How far along: 13w, 3d

How big is baby: Baby is about 2.9 inches and .81 ounces. In fruit terms, it is about the size of a peach. The head makes up 1/3 the size of the body. Vocal cords are forming and the baby already has fingerprints.

Weight:

Starting weight: 130

Total weight gain: 6.8

This week: 136.8

 

How I’m changing: The bloat isn't going away each night and the little bump is showing a little more.

What I miss: I miss running. I am clear to go back to running but work has been crazy so I haven't done it yet. Hopefully when I am off next week, I will get in a few days of activity.

Symptoms: The fatigue still comes and goes but I think a lot of that is because my sleep schedule is all out of whack.

 

Cravings: Nothing new. I am thirsty pretty often and chocolate milk tastes so good right now.

Food Aversions: Nothing yet.

Highlights this week: We had our NT scan and all the test results were good. The US Dr gave us a couple of 3D pictures. One of them shows the face with an arm over it and DH keeps looking at it and saying it looks like me. I don't think he realizes how much it will change before the birth and it is so tiny right now. But because of this, he thinks it looks like me and that it is a girl.

Maternity clothes: I can still fit into pants and wear them when I'm only going to have them on for a couple hours. Otherwise, I go with some stretchy pants and regular shirts. I have a few loose fitting shirts that are still hiding it some.

Stretch marks: None.

Sleep: My job does not allow this. It's a cross that I have been bearing for years. You would think that I would be used to it by now.

Movement: Nothing but gas.

Gender: I am still feeling boy but DH is adamant that it is a girl.

 

Labor signs: Nope. Way too soon.

Belly button: I will still be an innie for a while.

What I am looking forward to: My NEW OB appointment. After a couple disagreements on the quality of customer service at my previous OB's office, I scheduled an appointment with another doctor's office. I will not tolerate being on hold on the phone for longer than 10 minutes on the same line that handles appointments, questions and concerns that need non-urgent and urgent care by a doctor.

Milestones: I am in the SECOND TRIMESTER!!!!1!111!!!! I am so excited that I am past the first tri and moving on. Some days it feels like the time is flying by and then other days, it feels like I am barely progressing. I can take a quick look back at blog posts and see how much is changing each week and it makes me feel like it is going fast.

Much less bloat this week but the little pudge is getting a little more noticeable.

Look! It looks like a real baby!

NT scan is done! After the drama of scheduling it last week and the following days of crap with that OBs office, I was glad to walk out of that office today. 

Let me back up a bit though. The prenatal test (also called the NT or nuchal fold scan) can help the healthcare practitioner assess the baby's risk of having down syndrome and some other chromosomal abnormalities as well as major congenital heart problems. We apparently want the result to be under 3mm in the space around the neck or something like that. The US doc was going over this crap while he had my results in his hands. I wasn't listening to a single word he said as I was too worried about the results. I just wanted to interrupt him and say, "Excuse me. I don't need a Wikipedia review and definition of the test. Please just tell me if it is OK or not."

He said anything above a 3 would cause him to worry but said ours appeared normal at 1.3 or something like that. 8 swear I heard the words "within normal range" and then completely tuned him out. Oopsie. Way to listen to details Mama. 

This US was soooo much cooler than the previous ones. The little booger doesn't look like a gummy bear anymore and actually looks like a real skinny baby with a giant head. :) 

You could see the heart beating and the little skinny arms moving all over the place. The legs were kicking around as the US tech kept pressing the wand down on my stomach. The hand and arm  kept moving above its head and laying on its face or getting close to sucking the thumb. The tech wasn't getting detailed enough shots of that but was more concentrating on the neck but it was pretty awesome to say the least. 

Have I told you how stinking amazing it is to have a regular on top of the belly US? Because it is! I should be done with transvaginal dildo cam ultrasounds for the time being. 

My 13 week update will be coming soon. But until then, here's a few pics!!!

You can see the arm over the face and the other fist beside the face.

Profile shot and heart rate was 158. Everything looks great and I feel great. Except for the drama with the OB's office, things are going smoothly. It's almost too good to be true. 

12 weeks. Hello little plum!

My mornings: I'm on night shifts again. What is this day light crap coming in my windows? Someone needs to turn off the sun.

My nights: Shut eyes. Wake up. Pee. Over and over and over ... You get the idea.

How far along: 12w, 4d

How big is baby: Baby is the size of a plum and is about 2.1 inches and .49 ounces.

 

Weight: Can we skip this question? I broke down and bought a digital scale for the house. I knew it would probably be higher than the 130 that my scale was showing. According to this scale and my doctor's scale I have gained 14 pounds in the first tri.

Now I know that it's more likely that I started at a higher weight and have gained less than 10 pounds but this weight thing has bummed me out. I am in that tough period where I don't look pregnant. I look really pudgy. I look like I have gained several pounds in my waistline and it's not easy when you're trying to keep a pregnancy secret but also don't want people to think you've gained 10 pounds in just a few short weeks.

How I’m changing: I'm starting to get a little bump that's noticeable to me. The bloat still goes down when I sleep but by the end of the day I look pregnant. It's hard to hide right now.

What I miss: I miss sleeping. A lot.

Symptoms: I had a few days of fatigue again this week, as well as some heartburn. That's new to me and it's been at random times so I haven't had a chance to really pinpoint if anything is causing it or not.

 

Cravings: Nothing in particular.

 

Food Aversions: Explain this to me. I like bananas. I can eat about half of a banana and suddenly can't swallow the bite because if I do I will vomit it back up. This makes no sense to me.

Highlights this week: My first OB appointment and hearing the heartbeat on the doppler. It was strong at 159.

Maternity clothes: I can still fit into pants and wear them when I'm only going to have them on for a couple hours.

 

Stretch marks: None.

Sleep: It's been a little better this week. I've gotten more quality sleep and haven't been waking up as much.

Movement: Dr. H could tell when the baby was moving during the doppler. Everytime she found the HB, the baby would squirm to another location. She kept pointing out the scratchy sound the doppler made and said that was when the baby was moving around.

Gender: I'm feeling boy this week. There is no particular reason why but I just do.

Labor signs: Nope. Way too soon.

Belly button: I will still be an innie for a while.

What I am looking forward to: I am looking forward to looking pregnant. I can't hide it with my work shirts and the maternity shirts make me look more pregnant than just a loose fitting t-shirt.

(Picture side note: my arm looks abnormally large. I either have massive muscles or my mirror is being weird.) 

Milestones: Today was my last dose of Crinone!!!!1!!1!1 I can't tell you how happy this makes me. Of course, I am nervous, but I am also excited to be past this point in the pregnancy.

The post in which I am very pissified.

Bear with me. This post is full of hormonal rage and pissiness.

Also, I am going to make up about a dozen words that describe my pisstified level.

Today was my first OB appointment. (The important news of the appointment will be at the end of this lengthy post. Scroll down if you want to see that first.) It was with Dr. H who I will try to rename soon. My medical records and files are in her system because her and Dr. A are in the same teaching hospital group so she should have had access to all of my information when they scheduled this appt.

Because of this, they should have known beforehand that I was 12w,2d today and needed my NT scan done. But, nooooooo. The stupid moronic staff didn't do that, even though I called beforehand and asked if I would be receiving a US for the NT scan today. They didn't have an answer and said they would check.

I even called back this morning to make sure so I would know if DH should take off work to come with me.

One ringee dingee. Two ringee dingee. Three ringee dingee ... 45 ringee dingees.

(Hangup and dial again)

One ringee dingee. Transfer to automated system. Press buttons. Press more buttons. Press even mooooore buttons. Cue horrible hold music and a recorded voice about how important I am.

5 minutes later. I am still being told how important I am. While I appreciate the admiration from the robot voice and affirmation that I am indeed the most special person in the entire world, I was not being helped.

(Hangup. Dial again.)

10 MINUTES LATER I am back to the affirmation and now it is pissing me off and making me stabbity. I am ready to murder the robot lady. 10 minutes is a long time to wait, especially when this is the exact same line I would need to call if I have an urgent question for my doctor or nurse. By now, I am on speaker phone, cursing and pacing my kitchen.

::You're call is important to us, please ...::

Live person picks up and guess what her first words are. "Dr. Slow Ass OBGYNs office, can you hold please?"

"Sure, I have already been on hold for 10 minutes. What's the big deal about holding for another 30 minutes," I asked.

By now I have her attention. She apologizes and makes an excuse about how busy they are and are short staffed. I reminded her that no office in the world should take three phone calls and this much wait time before speaking to a live person.

Now she's pissedthehelloff at me like I insulted her mother. Trust me honey. I know what it's like to have 13 phone lines to answer between 4 people. Don't talk to me about how tough your job is. I know you have medical students and college interns floating around like flies on shit, so why don't you sit one of their butts in a chair and make them work.

Anyways, she finally answered my questions by not actually answering the questions. She was no help because she didn't know anything.

I met with Dr. My Office Staff is Stupid and we discussed a lot of the normal stuff. Yada Yada Yada ... don't smoke crack. Don't drink lots of alcohol. Stop being a prostitute. Don't do laundry ever again. Tell DH he has to cook supper every night. Blah, Blah, Blah, all the normal stuff.

She looked at my chart and was also confused as to why the NT scan wasn't scheduled. There's only one doctor that does them and I am only available on Friday and Monday. Guess what? He doesn't work on Fridays and by Monday it would be too late. It has to be done before 13 weeks. Monday will be 13 weeks. I am working night shifts through Thursday night and I CAN NOT wake up during the middle of the day to come for a 15 minute scan and then go back to bed. There's no way I could sleep again. I have sleep problems anyways. It's not going to happen. So she asks I can come early in the morning.

"Sure. Does he open at 6 a.m.? Because that's a good time for me."

She detects my sarcasm but doesn't think the other doctor will appreciate my humor and open up at 6 a.m.

At this point, it looks like I may not have the NT scan done. Thanks a lot Office of Lazy Butts OBGYN for flubbing up this schedule.

Since she works at the teaching hospital office, she only delivers at one particular hospital. It was the one hospital that I didn't want to deliver at. She had some valid reasons why it is better including that it is the major hospital for the are and has the only NICU, level 3. The other hospitals all transfer to this one when there is a problem. But, around here, more people are going to the newer, prettier hospital because this one has the reputation of being dirty. Now, I could just be hearing only the bad stories of this medical center, and unfortunately, I don't have many people I can ask about it because most of the people that I know that have delivered in recent years have went to the other perty, new building. But it looks like I don't have that option unless I switch OBs.

The downside to that would be that I would have to go with a practice that rotates OBs. You will never know which doctor you will see or deliver you. With Dr. H, she said she doesn't rotate because she doesn't take many private patients. The only ones she sees are Dr. A's fertility patients and higher risk patients, including multiples and other high risk pregnant mothers. She said delivers about 90% of her patients and the only reason she wouldn't deliver is if she is out of town or in surgery or something like that. I like fact about her practice but there are so many other problems that are ticking me off that I don't know I if I want to stay with her or not. 

I had a pap smear, flu shot and was violated a little more by the OB. It's never awkward to be felt up by another woman. I am almost positive that I am not a lesbian now too. So there's that.

Fast forward to her instructions to schedule another appt for 4 weeks from now. Sounds easy doesn't it?

I met the check out student who was studying medical terminology flashcards at the desk. I hope he studies them real hard because his common sense and customer service skills are lacking. He should really not go further in the secretarial field. I tell him my desire for an appt on a date 4 weeks away. No dice. Dr. is not available that day.

He tossed out an option and I said nope, I am on night shifts for three nights then and explain I work 6-6, 12 hour shifts. It's not possible for me. He then asks if the very next day is an option.

I am 5 seconds away from letting my head hit the desk. "Nope. I am still on night shift. It's not an option."

I asked for something the following week after my day shifts end. He asks if I can come in before work. 

"Sure. I will take your earliest appt at 5:30 a.m."

He does not see my humor or the obvious answer.

Two weeks later we find a day that works for us both. By that point I will be 18 weeks. He can't tell me if I can go ahead and get the anatomy scan at that time. This does not shock me. At this point, I'm pretty sure these people are glorified monkeys pressing buttons because they don't know Jack or his Uncle Shit. I ask him to find out. That wasn't an option either. He said I would have to call back another day and find out.

"Awesome," I said. "I love your office's hold music."

_______________

I must end this on a good note, since this whole day and other things have been putting me in a pisstacular state.

The appt went well as far as the baby stuff goes. I talked about my worries with weight gain. According to the office scale and my scale at home, I am up almost 10 pounds. I told her I am worried I may gain 60 pounds. She wasn't worried about my weight gain and said it will even out or we will monitor it closer in my third tri because that's when it could really affect things.

She was able to find the heartbeat on the doppler after about 2 minutes of searching. I was about to stop breathing and had to remember to breathe when I finally heard it. The little booger was running from the doppler. Even when she would finally get it to register for about 10 seconds, it would move away again. She chased it all over my stomach. The heart rate was 159 and sounded amazing.

My doppler that I ordered off eBay should be here Thursday. I can't wait to hear it at home and let DH listen to it.

So there it is. One of my longest posts ever and it's full of piss and crap. Any advice, hugs or flat out answers that make me not have to make a decision are welcome. 

A 911 dispatcher's guide to healthy eating during pregnancy

First, start off your day with a small glass of prune juice. Trust me on this ... more is not always better.

For breakfast, scarf down a Biscuit and Gravy from Hardee's at 5:30 am. 

By 8:30, when you're starving again, eat a cool whip size bowl of smushed/cooked apples. With sugar.

Sweet talk Pizza Hut into delivering your large pizza for free because you can't come pick it up. That would be too much effort and exercise to walk to and from your car and drive for 1/4 mile to the pizza place. 

Also, eat at least two pieces of pizza. Stop counting at two pieces. Set aside what is left for snack time. 

When a church offers to bring 911 center free food leftover from homecoming, kindly ask them to include dessert. 

Squeal like a pig when you see carrot cake.

It's not yet 3 pm. It's time to eat cake.

Enter sugar coma. 

You've successfully passed your calorie limit and intake needs for the day so there is no need to think about what you will eat later. Everything after this is just a bonus and considered healthy. 

After all, carrot cake has carrots in it. 

As for me, I'm off to google if coconut is a fruit. There may or may not be a piece of coconut cake going home with me. 

11 Weeks: Lime!

My mornings: I've stopped sleeping. Sleep is for the weak.

My nights: Shut eyes. Wake up. Pee. Over and over and over ... You get the idea.

How far along: 11w, 5d

How big is baby: Baby is the size of a lime and a little less than 2 inches. My uterus is now the size of a grapefruit. Add that to the cantaloupe sized bloat belly and I basically am a walking fruit salad.

Weight: 

Starting weight: 125

Total weight gain: 5

This week: 130

How I’m changing: I'm starting to get a little bump that's noticeable to me. My bloat belly is noticeable in shirts and I am wearing maternity pants to work. The others are just too uncomfortable after 12 hours. 

What I miss: I miss sleeping. A lot. 

Symptoms: My symptoms have taken a leave of absence which scares me. I have had a few moments of heartburn and some cramps but nothing that's persistent. 

Cravings: Nothing in particular. Some days I really want a certain food but nothing makes me scream that I HAVE TO HAVE THIS NOW!!!

Food Aversions: Nothing yet but smelling leftovers or old food makes me gag.

Highlights this week: I update my registry some. I've looked into buying a Doppler for myself to hear the HB but I haven't been able to pull the trigger.

Maternity clothes: I can still fit into pants and wear them when I'm only going to have them on for a couple hours. I have to have stretchy pants for work now. The bloat is too painful at the end of the day to not have stretch pants.

Stretch marks: None.

Sleep: At the advice of some of my TTGP grads, I got some Tylenol PM. I've take it twice and it does help. It's basically Tylenol and Benadryl and it had helped me sleep a little longer. 

Movement: Nothing but gas.

Gender: HB is still predicting girl.

Labor signs: Nope. Way too soon.

Belly button: I will still be an innie for a while.

What I am looking forward to: My OB appointment will be Oct 15. I can't wait!!!

Milestones: Getting closer and closer to the end of first Tri. I can't wait to be done with it and hopefully not worry as much. I doubt that will happen but it's nice to dream about. 

It's emergencies like this that never make the news.

Call it karma. Call it irony. Call it luck of the draw. 

In the 911 world, you will always be the one to answer the call that scares you or bothers you the most. When I was going   through IF treatment, I think I took about 100 pregnant teenager or druggie mother calls. Nothing will suck the breath out of you as fast as abused baby call. If I could have reached through the phone and committed murder, I probably would have. 

My partner's debilitating fear is spiders. She CAN NOT stand them. I think she would shat her pants if one physically got on her. She runs from side of the room until we kill them. It's funny to me but paralyzing to her. 

Guess what call she took last night? 

Elderly lady reported "a HUGE ass spider" in her house. I swear to Jesus, you would have thought that spider was crawling on my partner's face at that exact moment. Despite the caller living 3 miles away from our 911 center, to this dispatcher, she may have well been facing that spider eye to eye.

Of course, I am listening to the call and seconds away from peeing my pants from laughter. I should also note that this dispatcher is also my supervisor and she threatened to write me up if it didn't stop laughing. 

Yeah right! You might as well tell a kid to stop laughing in church. 

Despite not being a real emergency, to this dispatcher and this caller, it was life and death. Obviously, my version of life and death is different from theirs. 

Officers were dispatched for assistance an "animal call-- spider in the house." 

I'm not shitting you when I say the officers went in with backup. 3 officers, yes three officers, went to help this old lady. It was handled by officer which means that the spider is now resting in peace or pieces. 

Obviously, these officers have wives who are scared of spiders too. Well played boys. Well played. You deserve medals. 

8 MORE DAYS

Only 8 more days left of Crinone!!!!1!1!!1

Can you tell I'm a bit excited!?!?! 

8 more days and I will be done with the yucky funky gunk discharge. Hey. If you don't want TMI, then you may want to slowly back away from this blog. 

Here's a picture for you to give you a visual of how much enjoyment I get from inserting this suppository every day.

Sex, drugs and rock n roll are regular topics here. Well except for rock n roll. But I am fond of sex and drugs.

These wonderful (read: expensive) tubes of gooey progesterone will not be missed. They have been the cause of many literal headaches, bewbie aches, nightmares, and thinning my checking account.

On some brighter news, after I finally ordered my last set of the meds, I heard back from Blue Cross. Recently I inquired about them covering the drug since it is a pregnancy drug and I am not using it for infertility at this time. I argued and my RE argued that other types of progesterone were covered but not Crinone. Well guess what? I got a letter notifying me that they will now cover it. 

Really??!?! Thanks, but it's a little to late now since I've already paid for it for 12 weeks and you've repeatedly denied requests for it to be covered. I asked for a form to contest this and receive back pay from the previous 12 weeks. I don't know if I will get it but it's worth a shot. 

If there's another thing that IF has taught me, it is to not take "No" as an answer. I've learned how to advocate for myself, especially with insurance. They've screwed me over too many times for me to give in now. I will take ever dollar I can from them. 

8 MOAR DAYZ!!!!1!!1!1

Nightmares need to stop

I had heard that pregnant women have some vivid dreams, but this is getting ridiculous. I wish there was a way to exchange the nightmares for another crazy symptom. 

Excess gas 24/7? Sure! I will take it. 

Fatigue? Give it to me! 

Crazy extreme cravings of something nasty like mayonnaise or ranch? Heck yeah! 

Just stop with the dreams! Last night was the worst and it was so real. I don't think it would have been so bad if it hadn't been about having a miscarriage. Why couldn't it be the recurring bear chasing me around the house? Or the one where I crash my car in random places? Or where I'm robbed at gunpoint? 

I seriously woke up with sweat rolling off of me and I was crying. It was that bad. To top it off, I was so upset afterwards that I didn't go back to sleep for 3 hours. 

Between waking up to pee at least 3 times a night and these dreams which have been happening for several weeks, it is safe to say that I am not sleeping well. 

This post sounds whiny and until last nights dream, I wasn't overly bothered by them, but now I'm kinda afraid to close my eyes. 

The one tiny bit of comfort is that one of main side effects from Crinone is vivid dreams. I only have to take it for 10 more days. I'm going to wean off of it at week 12. I'm hoping the dreams will calm down after that. 

In other non whiny news, I went to our local festival today before starting back on night shift. I got some Christmas presents. Sorry, Sister in Law, I am not posting a pic of that! You will have to wait until Santa brings it to you. 

I did get some muscadine grape juice! It's sooooooo good. If I can't have wine, then this stuff is a veryveryveryclose second place to it. DH laughed at me recently because I say down on the couch with one of my wine glasses filled with prune juice.