We're hiring some new full time minions here at hell, I mean 911. By the grace of a humorous God, I am on the interview board and let me just say that America is in a shat load of trouble if these people are the ones who are responsible for your life and death.
A few of the gems from yesterday:
Q: Tell us a little about yourself.
A: I'm not that interesting.
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Q: What are some of your strengths?
A: Counting, money, talking to people...
(Same person)
Q: What are some of your weaknesses?
A: Math
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Q: What kind of people do you like/dislike?
A: I like everyone. I don't like rude people but I can deal with them. Handicap people. But I can deal with them too.
(Sidenote: our score sheets ranged from a possible score of 1-5. This genius got two different scores of ZERO from me.)
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Q: Are you a punctual person?
A: Yes I always arrive 15 minutes early. I hate being late.
Q: What time did you get here today?
A: I was 5 minutes late.
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"I am good at computers and listening to multiple voices in my head."
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My all time favorite interview moment was years ago when I was a news editor for a newspaper. Mr. College Grad Interviewee was talking about the speed in which he edits his stories.
"I'm different from other writers. I can't let go of a story. I edit and read it over and over and over and over. It's like mental masturbation."
Amazingly, we hired him anyways.
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