The waiting is brutal. One minute I'm happy. The next I'm depressed. I can barely even look at TB right now. I fully admit to being one of those jealous people now. I see a BFP post and my gut clenches. It's a strange feeling to be happy for that person yet broken at the same time. I know their success doesn't take away from mine. And I truly want these girls to succeed. It's not that I don't want them to be pregnant it's just that my first thought is when will it be my turn.
Because of this, I've stepped away for a bit. I lurk and comment on a couple posts but for the most part I skim the subject and move on. I hope this feeling passes soon. I know it's not the right reaction but its not like I can help it. There's no way to stop the constant nagging of "She did it. Why can't I?"
We're going out of town this weekend. Parents are keeping the dogs. We've never left Bella before so I hope she does OK. I sincerely hope this trip can take my mind off things and help us relax before my Lap next month.
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