Annoying coworker is annoying

Good morning and welcome to a middle of the morning post! 

Know why I am here? Because my coworker is annoying the bejeezus out of me and I'm looking busy over here so she will stop talking. 

Today was supposed to be the start of my 7 day break from work but I got called in. Whoopideedoo. 

The only good part is two words: Overtime Pay! 

Downside: it's with my arch nemesis and the biggest attention hoar I've ever met in my entire life. I can't even explain how bad this girl is. 

Me and another girl were talking about a recipe. Attention Ho piped in and said what she made for supper last night for her ex husband and son.

::Ok. Great. We weren't talking to you.::

Me and other coworker continued on talking about a recipe for cookies that I made last week. Attention Ho speaks up about candy that her baby daddy brought her. (Completely different father from the ex husband baby daddy)

::Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.::

At this point, we're 10 feet away from her and turned the opposite direction and whispering! We're obviously not including her. During a conversation about the Jackass TV show, she butts in and starts talking about something funny that Baby Daddy #2 did. 

I swear she doesn't know how to speak without it being about herself. I could say "I like potatoes." She would then tell me some completely off the wall story about her child, baby daddy, getting drunk and eating potatoes. 

This post makes absolutely no sense but it really doesn't need to. The main purpose of it is to make me appear completely engrossed in my phone so she won't bother me. It would be a lot easier if I could wear ear plugs at work. 

Unfortunately, they frown upon not listening to 911 callers.

At this point, I'm wishing for the 911 lines to ring because I need something to do. But it never works out like that. As soon as you wish for an end to the boredom, the whole world lays down and takes a nap and no one calls. But when you're praying for 15 free seconds so you can go pee, then all 12 lines start ringing. 

Take yesterday for example, I had gulped down about 186 ounces of water and needed to pee like a race horse. We were slammed busy and I was debating how humiliating it would be to pee my pants. I swear at that moment I would have gladly inserted a catheter just to get some relief. 

I should bring an extra pair of underwear and pants to work. That would be a good plan.

Or an adult diaper.