CD 26 -- 12 DPO

This 2WW hasn't been too bad as far as the ups and downs normally are concerned. But it's the last few days before AF always arrive that are a complete mind screw.

Every phantom symptom gets in your brain. Even the slightest twinge or cramp means little or it means a whole lot.

Most of my followers know what I mean, since the great majority of you are TTC or are KU now. Heck, some of you probably already have delivered and are back to TTC again. Getting lapped by someone in the TTC process is always fun, kinda like how root canals are fun.

I don't like to give daily updates on my Ute status because I think it's mundane and boring to read the same thing over and over again, but here's the obligatory list of symptoms that will undoubtedly end up being only PMS again. Statistically speaking, getting a BFP this cycle or any cycle is becoming more of a long shot. Screw you depressing statistics.

Phantom symptoms:

Overly active appetite. I could seriously eat a whole chicken right now, or at least the box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts that an officer brought us.

Exhausted. I fell asleep yesterday while sitting straight up in a chair. I think I was in the process of blinking and my body just died for about 5 minutes. Picture in your head that after 5 minutes, my neck muscles gave out, my head lolled almost off my shoulders and I almost fell out of the chair. I'm classy like that.

No cramps. I get cramps before AF for several days prior, but maybe by Ute is just being nice to me this month.

As for testing, this morning was a BFN. Bravo. Foxtrot. November.

I should start gathering up supplies for my CD 1 kit soon: drinks, tampons, old lady underwear, chocolate, etc. Any other ideas that are in your CD 1 kit?

::snort:: Cracks me up every time I look at it.

I shared my IF story!

You guise, this is big for me. Only a handful of other people know about our IF, and the majority of those are family or BFF. 

Today, I had an Aflac meeting at work. Last year the rep and I talked about what would be good for maternity leave coverage. I picked up a short term disability and a hospital plan last year during open enrollment. This year, he remembered that and asked if I wanted to up the plan or stay the same. He point blank asked me if I was trying to use it for maternity leave. 

Another rep was in there and I hesitated. And then I opened up and told them about my IF and I want to keep the plans. They listened to me and he said, I don't know how hard it is personally but my sister TTC for almost 5 years. I was so scared he was going to give me the relax speech. 

Instead he said, I saw how hard it was on her and I'm sorry. He even told me how he remembered how hard mothers days were for her and how she skipped church those days. I thanked him and said well how is your sister now. He said she is the mother of three and one on the way. 

Both reps were so nice and wished me luck as I left. 

Maybe this sharing our story thing isn't as hard as I thought it would be?  

I'm still not ready to share with everyone. Who knows if I ever will be, but today was a nice boost in that direction. I realize that by keeping my IF private it could be thought of as only hindering the cause to bring more awareness to the disease. It's always rattling in my mind of whether my opening up would do me more good than keeping it private does. 

Chew on that nugget for a while. What do you guys think? 

TTC related news: CD 24/10 DPO and a BFN this morning. I know it's still early but I'm already looking forward to moving

onto IUI 2 next month. 

A dose of karma

Some of the bad days of my job are cured by a sweet minute of karma.

We get lied to a lot. A.Lot. I would be hard pressed to name a handful of calls a day in which I believe every word that a 911 caller says. 

Medical calls are exaggerated because the person thinks if they scream and cry louder then the ambulances run faster. Wrong. Your pain and level of screaming do not correlate to emergency traffic. Also, yelling at a 911 call taker does more harm than good, especially if you're calling from a cell phone. The louder you are, the more you sound like Charlie Brown's teacher.

Whomp. Wha. Wha. Inaudible screaming. Whamp. Wha. Wha. 

I can smell a lie from a mile away. Problem is ... I can't do a danged thing about it. I have to trust what the caller is saying. I have to relay that information to officers, EMS and fire like those words are written in red type font by Jesus himself. 

All I can hope for is that one day I will get to drive the karma bus.

Professional tips:

1. Don't tell a 911 dispatcher that you can't talk to the cops because you're scared of your significant other and in the same breath, whisper to the person beside you to lie and say you're not there but you will be hiding in the bathroom. 

::I can still hear you.:: 

(That call ended with Miss Hide and Go Seek going to jail because she was the aggressor in the domestic violence, not her significant other.)

2. Yelling at the dispatcher because our crystal ball isn't working and we magically don't know your address does not help. Learn your address. Kindergartners know this. Plus, once we do figure out your address, yelling and cursing us will most definitely get you a visit from the po-po. Which is not something you want when you have active warrants. 

Basically, short version of this tip is don't call 911 unless you're positive you don't have warrants out for your own arrest. 

3. If you have a breathalyzer installed that manages the function and permitted use of your car, don't keep blowing into it if your drunk. It will eventually lock you out for a longer period of time. Calling 911 to complain and request a field sobriety test is probably not the wisest decision. There's a pretty good chance you will go to jail, unless the officer is nice enough to escort you back inside your house to save you a public intoxication charge. 

CD 20 - 6 DPO

Back to the dreaded and simultaneously anticipated 2WW.

It's a love-hate relationship with this time of my cycle. I'm glad I'm in the waiting to test part but I dread this time because it's torture to keep thinking and waiting.

I'm 6 DPO and won't test until at least 10 DPO or maybe 12. At this point, I'm not overly hopeful with this month and am already planning for IUI 2.

During our hours in the car going to and from vacation, DH had lots of time to talk about the future and what length of treatment we're willing to take. We both have similar feelings but haven't made any final decisions but when we do I will share it.

Until then, we wait.

Look what I did!

Growing up, we always had a garden. A large garden! Dad always planted way too much that fed us, my grandparents and pretty much my entire church.

I remember every Sunday and Wednesday, we would pick whatever was ripe and tote multiple 5 gallon buckets to church where we would barely get out of the car before we became a mobile farmers market.

Since moving into our home a few years ago, I've wanted to grow a garden. So that's what I did!

I wanted something that could be easily maintained. Thus, the birth of a raised garden bed. DH constructed a bed about 7 feet by 3 feet out of some spare building materials from our porch.

We waited until the frost warning was over for our area, even though Mother Nature doesn't follow NOAA weather predictions. She frosted our area the night before we planted and then the temp rose to 80 degrees. Mother Nature is fickle.

We got $25 worth of top soil from a local rock, gravel and dirt business, which saved us about $75 if we had just bought planting mix or garden soil in bags. Sure, the bagged variety probably has a lot more nutrients and official sounding plant growing doohickeys but I figured that we planted a garden every year in top soil. We never fertilized it with anything but cow manure and we had tomatoes the size of your face. Just for the sake of having richer soil, I mixed in two bags of potting soil/garden soil and manure with the soil and voila ... a raised bed ready for plants.

This year is basically a trial run to see what works and what doesn't. I'm starting small with three tomato plants, big boy better boy and yellow and pink stripeys. Yellow squash and zucchini were started by seed on the opposite end to give them plenty of spreading room and a mound of 4 cucumber plants are in the center. I will train them to run up a trellis to keep their vines from taking over the whole container.

Just for funsies, I bought 8 tumbling toms tomato plants that I put in two hanging baskets for little tiny bite size 'maters.

Before you ask, yes I do say 'maters and 'taters in real life. I'm from the south. It's the law.

I'm adding in some cell phone pics of the progress and one extra yummy pic just for JMacky of my first strawberry breakfast this morning ... a Nutella and strawberry quesadilla, minus the cheese chicken but plus Nutella and berries.

Post vacation blues

We're back from vacation. Ugh.

I want to go back.

I'm glad I've got a few days off work because it will take me hours to get the crap unpacked. After that, I want to start planting my little garden. We had a frost warning last night so I may hold off for a day or two. (Also, WTF Mother Nature. It's almost June. Why are you still frosting?)

I'm going back to unpacking and laundry.

But I would rather be doing what the dogs are doing. Can you tell that Doggy Day care wore them out?

I'm calling it.

I'm declaring today as O day. I may or may not have gotten a +OPK this morning. I did get a definite + yesterday, but today's is iffie.

And since I'm kinda going with a laid back TI cycle, I'm predicting my own O day. I couldn't get an appointment for a midcycle US closer to O because of the vacation. RE was willing to schedule IUI in hopes that we got back before O but honestly, I didn't want the stress of it.

After charting for a butt load of months before seeing a RE, I just don't feel like picking up that stupid BBT again. So I really have no clue and can't promise that this is O. Using OPKs was too much to ask for when I couldn't remember to pee on them. Something about a vacation just makes you lose your mind ... in a good way.

But whatevs, I do what I want.

The short weekend vacation relaxed us and we enjoyed a nice break from realty. Honestly, this month has been our best timing in a long time.

We hit 5-O, 3-O, 1-O and O. I'm good with that.