A dose of karma

Some of the bad days of my job are cured by a sweet minute of karma.

We get lied to a lot. A.Lot. I would be hard pressed to name a handful of calls a day in which I believe every word that a 911 caller says. 

Medical calls are exaggerated because the person thinks if they scream and cry louder then the ambulances run faster. Wrong. Your pain and level of screaming do not correlate to emergency traffic. Also, yelling at a 911 call taker does more harm than good, especially if you're calling from a cell phone. The louder you are, the more you sound like Charlie Brown's teacher.

Whomp. Wha. Wha. Inaudible screaming. Whamp. Wha. Wha. 

I can smell a lie from a mile away. Problem is ... I can't do a danged thing about it. I have to trust what the caller is saying. I have to relay that information to officers, EMS and fire like those words are written in red type font by Jesus himself. 

All I can hope for is that one day I will get to drive the karma bus.

Professional tips:

1. Don't tell a 911 dispatcher that you can't talk to the cops because you're scared of your significant other and in the same breath, whisper to the person beside you to lie and say you're not there but you will be hiding in the bathroom. 

::I can still hear you.:: 

(That call ended with Miss Hide and Go Seek going to jail because she was the aggressor in the domestic violence, not her significant other.)

2. Yelling at the dispatcher because our crystal ball isn't working and we magically don't know your address does not help. Learn your address. Kindergartners know this. Plus, once we do figure out your address, yelling and cursing us will most definitely get you a visit from the po-po. Which is not something you want when you have active warrants. 

Basically, short version of this tip is don't call 911 unless you're positive you don't have warrants out for your own arrest. 

3. If you have a breathalyzer installed that manages the function and permitted use of your car, don't keep blowing into it if your drunk. It will eventually lock you out for a longer period of time. Calling 911 to complain and request a field sobriety test is probably not the wisest decision. There's a pretty good chance you will go to jail, unless the officer is nice enough to escort you back inside your house to save you a public intoxication charge.