Spotting.
It's always a teaser for AF. Temp drop this morning so it's just a matter of time.
I have so many thoughts and worries in my head that I will probably share later but for now, I'm just ready to get this next cycle started. It's enough to worry about on its own.
Up until a couple days ago, Dr A wanted us to try unmedicated for 6 months, but last week my P4 came back at 8.4, indicating weak O. Initial P4 in November was over 11. His nurse called and wants me to call cd 1 to schedule an appt. Clomid is likely the next step.
I'm not looking forward to this at all. I'm worried about the side effects. I'm worried about the cost, monitoring and my work schedule. We're OOP for treatment. My job as a 911 dispatcher is a set schedule and it's difficult to take time off without pre approval weeks ahead. I had not planned on telling my boss about IF but it looks like I may have to since I will need to miss some work this week for RE visit and BW.
I hate the unknown. It keeps me up at night. Last night, I couldn't sleep and had a nightmare about my supervisor related to my TTC and work.
Why can't this be easier?
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Saturday, February 9, 2013
12 dpo
Negative.
But my temps are up?
Still waiting...
But in other news, my shampoo has diarrhea. Hey Pantene, maybe you should change the name so the translation isn't shatty.
But my temps are up?
Still waiting...
But in other news, my shampoo has diarrhea. Hey Pantene, maybe you should change the name so the translation isn't shatty.
Friday, February 8, 2013
CD 26 / 11 DPO
In a couple days, I will know if we're pregnant or not this month.
The end of a cycle is brutal. Two days lasts for weeks. Every twinge is a symptom. Each temp gets judged and analyzed over and over. Bathroom trips are like a scavenger hunt for spotting.
Add in the IF factor and all the doubts come flooding in.
When will it be our month?
Why us?
What can I do differently?
It's like two final days of your cycle can determine the worth of an entire month.
Officially, I'm 11 dpo. I usually spot by 12 dpo. If there's no spotting, then I may test then. Right now, I've got some cramping, and sore boobs, but both of those can be attributed to PMS as well.
It's possible that my cycle and/or symptoms could change following the Lap so the cramps could be from that.
I just wish these days would go by faster. Staying awake and bored on night shift just fuels to my active imagination, feeding my doubt and then getting my hopes up. It's a crazy roller coaster ride.
The end of a cycle is brutal. Two days lasts for weeks. Every twinge is a symptom. Each temp gets judged and analyzed over and over. Bathroom trips are like a scavenger hunt for spotting.
Add in the IF factor and all the doubts come flooding in.
When will it be our month?
Why us?
What can I do differently?
It's like two final days of your cycle can determine the worth of an entire month.
Officially, I'm 11 dpo. I usually spot by 12 dpo. If there's no spotting, then I may test then. Right now, I've got some cramping, and sore boobs, but both of those can be attributed to PMS as well.
It's possible that my cycle and/or symptoms could change following the Lap so the cramps could be from that.
I just wish these days would go by faster. Staying awake and bored on night shift just fuels to my active imagination, feeding my doubt and then getting my hopes up. It's a crazy roller coaster ride.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Walmart doesn't have everything.
You know what Walmart doesn't have?
A proper greeting card.
I guess I could try the Hallmark store, but I highly doubt they will have what I'm looking for either.
DH's birthday is February 15. Do y'all know what day is before that? Do ya? National Sex Day! Otherwise known as Valentines Day.
Babies should not be allowed to be born near holidays. I joke. Sort of. It's selfish, but his birthday ruins Valentines Day and vice versa. I never get him two good gifts for both days. I want to try to be romantic for V day but it's hard when I also have to plan something or get another present for B day.
It's difficult to celebrate his B day by going out because so many people are out celebrating V day. Ugh.
This year, we're moving in the technological world. I got an iPhone for Christmas and next up is a nice shiny up to date VCR!!! Not really. I got him a Blu-Ray player.
But do you know what Walmart does not have to go with his new toy? A proper card.
There really is no card that says ...
"Thanks for repeatedly having sex with me this year, even though I know there were times when we both weren't in the mood.
Thanks for being there when I broke down over how Lucky Charms affects my fertility.
Thanks for jerking off into a cup and paying for the most expensive piece of ass that you never got to have.
Thanks for being willing to not put a roof on the garage so we could afford my Lap surgery.
Thanks for being able to tell the difference in the days that I don't want to talk about IF and the days that I do.
Thanks for understanding when I don't want people to know about our IF struggles.
Thanks for holding me up to pee after my Lap surgery.
Thanks for having super sperm, as you call them.
Thanks for everything. Thanks for being you.
Happy Birthday"
Hallmark should really get on this. I would even settle for the last words to be "Happy Valentines Day".
I pride myself in finding the perfect card. I spent almost an hour pouring over B day and V day cards to no avail. There is no such thing as an IF card that also says Love Ya, Mean It!
So I found the next best thing.
Justin Beiber musical card singing "Baby."
WINNING!
A proper greeting card.
I guess I could try the Hallmark store, but I highly doubt they will have what I'm looking for either.
DH's birthday is February 15. Do y'all know what day is before that? Do ya? National Sex Day! Otherwise known as Valentines Day.
Babies should not be allowed to be born near holidays. I joke. Sort of. It's selfish, but his birthday ruins Valentines Day and vice versa. I never get him two good gifts for both days. I want to try to be romantic for V day but it's hard when I also have to plan something or get another present for B day.
It's difficult to celebrate his B day by going out because so many people are out celebrating V day. Ugh.
This year, we're moving in the technological world. I got an iPhone for Christmas and next up is a nice shiny up to date VCR!!! Not really. I got him a Blu-Ray player.
But do you know what Walmart does not have to go with his new toy? A proper card.
There really is no card that says ...
"Thanks for repeatedly having sex with me this year, even though I know there were times when we both weren't in the mood.
Thanks for being there when I broke down over how Lucky Charms affects my fertility.
Thanks for jerking off into a cup and paying for the most expensive piece of ass that you never got to have.
Thanks for being willing to not put a roof on the garage so we could afford my Lap surgery.
Thanks for being able to tell the difference in the days that I don't want to talk about IF and the days that I do.
Thanks for understanding when I don't want people to know about our IF struggles.
Thanks for holding me up to pee after my Lap surgery.
Thanks for having super sperm, as you call them.
Thanks for everything. Thanks for being you.
Happy Birthday"
Hallmark should really get on this. I would even settle for the last words to be "Happy Valentines Day".
I pride myself in finding the perfect card. I spent almost an hour pouring over B day and V day cards to no avail. There is no such thing as an IF card that also says Love Ya, Mean It!
So I found the next best thing.
Justin Beiber musical card singing "Baby."
WINNING!
Sunday, February 3, 2013
CD 21 / ?? DPO
When I put in this morning's temp, FF changed my O date from CD 15 to CD 17.
Normally, this wouldn't concern me since we had good timing with sex but Dr A has ordered a 7DPO test to check my progesterone levels.
So now, thanks for FF, I am not sure which day to go have my blood drawn. Based on a collective poll by chart experts at TB, if I discard my CD 13 insanely high temp, O date goes back to CD 15.
As a compromise, I'm going to get blood drawn on Tuesday which would be either 6DPO or 8DPO based on the two O dates.
Blurghghghgh!!!!! What a stupid mind screw. Why can't it be as easy as having sex and getting pregnant.
Normally, this wouldn't concern me since we had good timing with sex but Dr A has ordered a 7DPO test to check my progesterone levels.
So now, thanks for FF, I am not sure which day to go have my blood drawn. Based on a collective poll by chart experts at TB, if I discard my CD 13 insanely high temp, O date goes back to CD 15.
As a compromise, I'm going to get blood drawn on Tuesday which would be either 6DPO or 8DPO based on the two O dates.
Blurghghghgh!!!!! What a stupid mind screw. Why can't it be as easy as having sex and getting pregnant.
Crack in a cup
Do you like chocolate?
Do you like milk?
Do you like Nutella?
If you answered no to the last question, then we can't be friends.
I give you Nutella Hot Chocolate!
Directions:
1. Find your favorite mug. Fill it with hot milk. I prefer whole milk.
2. Heat milk in microwave for 1:30 or until hot.
3. Spoon in 1-3 spoonfuls of Nutella. Swirl until melted into milk. The amount of Nutella is totes discretionary. 1 spoon. Or maybe even 5 spoons is optional. Me? I prefer anywhere from 4-12 spoonfuls, depending on the time of the month.
4. Let cool for 5 seconds or a minute. Again, totes up to you and your desire to burn flesh off your tongue.
5. Drink!!!!
6. Tell me I'm the smartest person alive.
This is also good with kahlua or other favorite liquor.
Do you like milk?
Do you like Nutella?
If you answered no to the last question, then we can't be friends.
I give you Nutella Hot Chocolate!
Directions:
1. Find your favorite mug. Fill it with hot milk. I prefer whole milk.
2. Heat milk in microwave for 1:30 or until hot.
3. Spoon in 1-3 spoonfuls of Nutella. Swirl until melted into milk. The amount of Nutella is totes discretionary. 1 spoon. Or maybe even 5 spoons is optional. Me? I prefer anywhere from 4-12 spoonfuls, depending on the time of the month.
4. Let cool for 5 seconds or a minute. Again, totes up to you and your desire to burn flesh off your tongue.
5. Drink!!!!
6. Tell me I'm the smartest person alive.
This is also good with kahlua or other favorite liquor.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
How a box of Lucky Charms made me cry
I had this great post started. It was huge. It was detailed and dramatic and Oh Emm Gee would have made you cry from the emotions I was conveying. Then my iPhone ate it.
Basically, the hospital sent a bill for $9048.23 for my lap. I walked away in a daze, put up some groceries and when the cereal box didn't fit in the cabinet, I fell to the floor and cried like a baby.
It was my first real IF breakdown moment. Sure there have been some sad times but this was my "Why me?" moment. It was not pretty.
Long story short: I called BCBS, hospital and RE. It's basically the hospital's fault for scaring the Shiite out of me. Insurance sent their payment after the hospital sent me a bill. My portion is actually $1,827.89. Plus the RE portion which I haven't received a bill for yet.
I've concluded that health care and insurance companies are frocked up. Here's the totals before negotiated down billed by the hospital to BCBS.
Total for lap: $21,661
Total for RE: $1,559
Isn't that crazy? For an hour long lap surgery, it was over $23,000. But they negotiated it down by $18,521, leaving the rest for BCBS and me to pay. I'm not arguing that it costs a lot to do the procedure but to be able to negotiate it down by that drastic of a cut is crazy. Why is it not that cheap to begin with?
Anywho, that's the short story of how I panicked, flipped out, figured it out and then calmed down. I'm still blaming it on the giant box of Lucky Charms. Stupid cereal box.
Basically, the hospital sent a bill for $9048.23 for my lap. I walked away in a daze, put up some groceries and when the cereal box didn't fit in the cabinet, I fell to the floor and cried like a baby.
It was my first real IF breakdown moment. Sure there have been some sad times but this was my "Why me?" moment. It was not pretty.
Long story short: I called BCBS, hospital and RE. It's basically the hospital's fault for scaring the Shiite out of me. Insurance sent their payment after the hospital sent me a bill. My portion is actually $1,827.89. Plus the RE portion which I haven't received a bill for yet.
I've concluded that health care and insurance companies are frocked up. Here's the totals before negotiated down billed by the hospital to BCBS.
Total for lap: $21,661
Total for RE: $1,559
Isn't that crazy? For an hour long lap surgery, it was over $23,000. But they negotiated it down by $18,521, leaving the rest for BCBS and me to pay. I'm not arguing that it costs a lot to do the procedure but to be able to negotiate it down by that drastic of a cut is crazy. Why is it not that cheap to begin with?
Anywho, that's the short story of how I panicked, flipped out, figured it out and then calmed down. I'm still blaming it on the giant box of Lucky Charms. Stupid cereal box.
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