Walmart doesn't have everything.

You know what Walmart doesn't have?

A proper greeting card.

I guess I could try the Hallmark store, but I highly doubt they will have what I'm looking for either.

DH's birthday is February 15. Do y'all know what day is before that? Do ya? National Sex Day! Otherwise known as Valentines Day.

Babies should not be allowed to be born near holidays. I joke. Sort of. It's selfish, but his birthday ruins Valentines Day and vice versa. I never get him two good gifts for both days. I want to try to be romantic for V day but it's hard when I also have to plan something or get another present for B day.

It's difficult to celebrate his B day by going out because so many people are out celebrating V day. Ugh.

This year, we're moving in the technological world. I got an iPhone for Christmas and next up is a nice shiny up to date VCR!!! Not really. I got him a Blu-Ray player.

But do you know what Walmart does not have to go with his new toy? A proper card.

There really is no card that says ...

"Thanks for repeatedly having sex with me this year, even though I know there were times when we both weren't in the mood.
Thanks for being there when I broke down over how Lucky Charms affects my fertility.
Thanks for jerking off into a cup and paying for the most expensive piece of ass that you never got to have.
Thanks for being willing to not put a roof on the garage so we could afford my Lap surgery.
Thanks for being able to tell the difference in the days that I don't want to talk about IF and the days that I do.
Thanks for understanding when I don't want people to know about our IF struggles.
Thanks for holding me up to pee after my Lap surgery.
Thanks for having super sperm, as you call them.
Thanks for everything. Thanks for being you.
Happy Birthday"

Hallmark should really get on this. I would even settle for the last words to be "Happy Valentines Day".

I pride myself in finding the perfect card. I spent almost an hour pouring over B day and V day cards to no avail. There is no such thing as an IF card that also says Love Ya, Mean It!

So I found the next best thing.

Justin Beiber musical card singing "Baby."

WINNING!