It's 911 calls like this that make us giggle uncontrollably.

Thank heaven for the genius who invented the mute button on our phones at 911. Because those magical buttons cover up so much laughter, gasps, and even tears.

Tonight, it was just laughter though.

I answered a 911 call from an elderly lady. She requested an ambulance for her 55 year old son, but wouldn't tell me what his complaint was. She kept repeating, "Just get them up here. I can't talk about it on the phone."

911: Is he in pain?
Caller: He's in his room moaning.
911: Can you go in there and ask him where he is hurting?
Caller: NO. Just get them here now. Something is wrong.
911: (long silent awkward pause is a secret way to get people to start talking. People will usually always fill the silence.)
Caller: It's ... He has a problem with his male organ.
911: Is it bleeding? Swollen? Stuck?
Caller: Nooooooo. Just get them here. (hangs up phone)

You can probably see where this is going. We predicted it when she wouldn't go back into his room, but Old Mama walked in on her adult son masturbating. Apparently, she thought his moans were cries for help.

Sidenote: Officers were sent because she mentioned that he was screaming at her earlier so we sent them just in case. The officer that was a smart ass to me earlier in the evening was dispatched to this call with no courtesy warning of what he was walking into. That will teach him to not piss off his dispatcher.