Scared.

That's the only way I can describe this feeling of not knowing what's going on. 

You try not to get your hopes up. You try not to fall in love with being pregnant, even if it is only a few days along. But, it's impossible. 

Today is my second beta and I am so scared.

I don't really have much of a reason to be, but I took another test this morning and the line is lighter than yesterday's. It's more comparable to my 12DPIUI test. Today is only 14 DPIUI and the day that should have been AF. 

All I can try to do is be thankful and repeat my mantra. 

I am thankful I am not spotting. I am thankful I am not cramping terribly. I am thankful for the boob pain. I am thankful for the twinges and cramps as they reassure me that hopefully something is happening. 

Today I am pregnant and I am thankful for that.